She was a bit odd. I was open, naive, and would meet with anyone who wanted to meet. See my first date.

Average, in that 10 years ago average sort of way, she met me at my apartment and we went out to go to a play. "Famous Puppet Death Scenes", but it was sold out, she was disappointed, and so we went for dinner at the Auburn Saloon, ate nachos, she was funny. She ate quickly, practically, small hands digging into the nachos, shoveling them into her mouth, she has a small child, works in a call center, talks about her online dating experiences, there was one guy, and I probe gently, encourage, lead her, and she begins to cry...

Clearly she's not ready to be dating.

She sees me watching her eating, gorging herself on the nachos, and she says to me: "You're looking at my mole, aren't you?"

I hadn't noticed the mole before, but it's like in Austin Powers, now that she's drawn my attention to it I can't take my eyes off of it, it's speaking to me, think Austin Powers "Mole mole mole mole mole", accent over the e...