He has a friend he wants me to meet.
Finally a chance to wear my new helicopter pilots helmet! And so strapping it on I hope on my bike and cycle down to the cafe.
He's pleasant enough, older, maybe early seventies.
At first we talk about the weather, small talk, they're feeling me out.
Then it starts.
He's an expert in history. He knows the Declaration of Independance, the Magna Carta, every Papal Bull and edict ever issued off by heart, the succession of kings, everything.
His learning is formidable.
But somehow there's something lacking, or something added, to the interpretation.
They've faked Barak Obama's birth certificate. He was really born in Kenya.
I've heard this theory before, and seen it well and thoroughly debunked here.
"It doesn't matter, he's a walk-in anyways...."
My friend, his friend, our mutual friend, doesn't quite understand and so I explain.
"A walk in is when an alien entity takes over your body..."
He continues.
"Barak died when he was 15. That's when the Walk-In took over his body. We don't know what side he's on, he might in fact be helping to fight the gathering forces of evil..."
That's all the explanation it needs. We pass over the walk-in of Barak Obama as a fact, evidence accepted ad-priori, no need to question that as we're all reasonable people here.
I wish I was taping this. "The gathering forces of evil..."
The conversation continues. He explains to us how the process of getting birth certificates is a process of trading us like commodities. How we're born into slavery, and he explains it back to the Church of Rome. How the Pope is in fact the Antichrist, and the last three popes have been assasinated for attempting to reveal this.
How his attempt to secure the freedom of the people of the United States from their Illuminati overlords using a little known clause in the constitution that allows states to elect non-partisan members to review government policy was thwarted by spurious criminal charges.
He pauses for a minute to smile, somewhat proud at his deft and dazzling interpretation of the facts.
It continues, there's a break for a minute while they begin talking about creationism. Again, it's taken for granted that the world was created (how else did it get here?), and in a brilliant rapport both quote and laugh at a particular BC comic - that mostly unhumerous comic that places man living with dinosaurs, and I'm struck - it's as if they're believing that BC is some sort of absolute archeological proof, some ancient petroglyph discovered by Johnny Hart and presented to the naieve public as fun but really historical fact...a conspiracy of scientists to discredit it....
I'm glad I brought the helmet.