The pendulum having swung to it's predictable seasonal low, money now completely evaporated and time to rein in the vices. Vodka, none. Cigarettes, none. Now these things, these are trifles, the empty fridge, well, less of a trifle.
Get off my ass, apply for a half dozen jobs I'm grossly overqualified for. And wait for no responses and a renewal of the adverts looking for staff and the inevitable complaints of businesses that they can't find anyone to work...
Not my problem, my problem is I'm more than a few dollars short.
The Vodka, this was long overdue to be given up and a few days in and I'm feeling like a new man. The cigarette habit is a bit harder to shake and so I pick up my vape pen, long ignored, and begin taking a puff on it once in a while when I'm feeling the absence of nicotine.
The Vape Pen, it's filled with some CBD/Sativa pot blend. I have no fucking clue, I'm not a pothead and have no pretensions in that department. And - for a while it eases the withdrawal.
The problem, of course, is that by noon I'm fucking zoodled, and pot doesn't agree with me. I get nauseous, or ravenous, often both, and there's no remedy. The initial "high", aside from making me incredibly unmotivated and wanting to nap (and I'm besieged with bizarre imagery, stoned imagery a-la marijuana, the imagery varying greatly depending on my mood, often more 'restless' than impressive, and I talk to pothead friends and they look at me like I'm crazy, because they don't get it...) is followed by an overwhelming anxiety.
This, I know, is a side effect of pot, for me at least, and from what I've read others get this as well, but...
Eventually the day is over, and the next day it begins again...wake up still stoned from the day before, take shallower and shallower puffs on the vape, I'm the lamest pothead out there but it's time to shake some bad habits, not acquire new ones, and the last thing I want to do is die a smoker or raging alcoholic, these things, they'll follow you into the next life and I'm at that age where it's time to begin preparations...
Anyways, there are people out here that live day to day 10X as stoned as I've ever been from dawn 'til dusk, and it helps me a great deal to understand how this economy functions...