...and all this commuting between the Kootenays and Calgary and I've come to realize that I have no home.
Nothing.
That if I owned a place here - nice, unpack, but I'm not sure it would be home. Maybe, I haven't been here long enough, and the winter, cold, grey, shortened days, fine if you're not living in a woodshed and have a fireplace, a bottle of scotch, are marginally settled in, involved in the community, but that's not the situation, not yet, maybe not ever, when spring comes I know again I'll be restless and wanting to make trails.
Maybe 5, 6, 7 even years since I've been unpacked - in a safe place, jobs, precarious, leaving Calgary, returning to Calgary, so often, summers - when I could afford to - travelling, prospecting, in a way I'm homesick for the idea of home, I have no idea where that is. And there's the inane platitude that "Home is where the Heart Is..." but I've kept my heart and my bits to myself, for good reason, and this plethora of choice has me wondering...
So not home, but feverish in the woodshed, recovering gradually, and as both I and the weather improve there will be plans made for sure...