Rub-a-Dub-Dub
5 men in a sub
and who/where do you think they be?
The Diver, The Pilot, The Founder who founders
A Billionaire and his heir...
All Crushed now and Drowned at the bottom of the Sea...
(actually, only need: "Rub-a-Dub-Dub, 5 Men in a Sub, And Where do you think they be???"...Everyone knows the rest...)
That the Entirely Predictable Misadventures of the most unsympathetic and entitled band of Adventurers should demand our undivided attention, sympathy, empathy and grief, well, no thanks, there are better causes.