When he's bored he just talks. He provokes you with his conversation, telling you things that - while true - he shouldn't be telling you.
Today it's about the "camping" trips in Italy when he was young. Perhaps 12 or so. Where he and his friends rode to an isolated spot in a forest and sat round in a circle and jacked off together.
A "Circle Jerk", as they say.
He brought it up his last trip to Italy, a group of his old friends and their new girlfriends and family, "remember when guys...." there was a discreet coughing and silence.
It just popped into his head.
Now the story doesn't offend me as much as the fact of it does, recalling once vigorous arguments I held with girlfriends about this exact same topic - girlfriends that believed that all men rode to the forest - together - and jacked off.
At this time I'd never heard of this, naive, and I denied it, certainly I knew nothing of it.
But since meeting the Nephew I know better.
***
He's back home on his lunch break, down in Sunalta, he's unable to return to work as the cops have effected a bust in the alley.
A car, 2 black guys, one white, native girl.
They've cordoned off the alley, there's no coming or going for the nephew, and so he sits on his balcony and watches.
The cops haul a dozen, 2 dozen, 50 empty mickeys of Alberta Vodka from the car, then finally one full one. "Is this yours" they ask in turn every member of the car. Everyone denies it.
They keep going through the car. A bag of pills, the nephew can describe it, no one in the car claims it. Same with some loose needles filled with what appears to be blood. Still they go through the car. They find a large rubber dildo - with balls. This pleases the cops endlessly. They start with the native girl ... "Is this yours?" .... she denies it. They move onto the black guys, ....." Is this yours? Are you sure? Look at it....I think it is...." They talk to the nephew..."You ever seen one like this? With balls? He hasn't.....
He's laughing so hard as he tells it to me, he knew some of the cops from his many domestic complaints, invited them in for a coffee but they couldn't, still, it was the funnies thing he's seen and I can well imagine....
***
He has a sympathy for the homeless that I don't possess. There's a native fellow in a wheelchair that pisses every morning on his window, he wakes to see the man's **ck streaming urine down the glass, he doesn't get upset. "Hey" he tells the guy "Could you please... stop...I mean..." he's explaining it to me..."I mean once, OK, twice, OK, three times, OK, but every day and it will start to stink...." He gives him money as a sort of bribe, I know who he's talking about, the wheelchair guy takes it as an invitation to spend the night, the Nephew has to quickly backpedal...."My girlfriend, she'd kill me..."