The weather the past week, piss poor, raining, cold, and I've no motivation. Even cooking is better left undone, go find a restaurant, and groceries expire in the fridge and I'm not made of money, not with the dependants I have...
Last night, upstairs neighbour, her boyfriend strangely absent these last few days, up late moving furniture, noises, banging. She'd been texting to go for a cigarette, but I'd had my own long day at work and just wanted to decompress. Then, sometime as I was trying to fall asleep, a giant crash, voices, the sound of the rail outside being banged (a peculiar reverberation), and then it's quiet.
Still, restless, the day was long and not enough got done, I sleep poorly.
Today, running into her in the lobby, querying her about the noise, at first she denies it, then confesses it was the ambulance/paramedics trying to get her out of the house...
Which explains the voices, and some of the other noises, and she's telling me she's sick, needs an operation, that she came home to an apartment covered in blood, she's doing laundry and needs an operation scheduled in Trail and she can't talk about it...
***
I have my suspicions, but I know nothing and don't want to ask, I've staggered about drunk more than a few times, kicked up a racket, broken things, but she is I suspect a long ways ahead of me...
***
I checked the obituaries, once in a blue moon, another old customer from the old restaurant, married to J**, grown cranky and cantankerous in her old age. And the Pastor that founded this housing, the thrift shop, the Christian ministry above it, his wife also died. Coincidentally both widowers have the same name. Death out here, it's a season. J**, former customer from the restaurant, comes into the Sushi place for lunch with his son. And I give him my condolences, and he's sad, but he seems as well to be - well, not so sad, the relief the dying give the living - when finally dead - is no small thing. A coincidence, I've never seen him in the restaurant before - but - there is a pattern...synchronicity, a symmetry hidden in the ordered workings of life...
***
Today, cold, miserable, rain, wind, wet, I make it out for a coffee, come home, make a big pot of clam chowder, eat it all. Then take some pictures, out again to list the former closet contents (old computer, projector, monitor, suitcases) on Facebook marketplace, sell it or give it away but be done with it finally.
The computer, there's work there, need to move all the files off of it and wipe, then to Library to list, then again home to wash dishes, read, listen to podcasts (nothing good), read all the news that was never fit to print, ever, and now - after a final walk to make my minimal exercise - to watch a movie, read a few dour books on German Philosophy (Shopenhauer) and then perhaps an early bed...