Saturday, up early to catch the bus. Go for a coffee, enjoy it because the next few days I'll be couch surfing out in Balfour, and nothing makes you appreciate town like a few days in the country.
Only I've read the bus schedule wrong, missed it by perhaps 10 minutes, and am stuck for an hour and a quarter beside the highway hitchhiking for a ride.
This is a new record.
Eventually, Wayne from ********* picks me up, heading with his kids to Ainsworth to pass the day - local, it's always the locals, if you see an Alberta plate don't even bother putting out your thumb.
Wayne proves an interesting fellow, with a temperament that reminds me somewhat of Wayne from "Wayne's World".
Customers, a few regulars - R****, an older guy, maybe in his 70's, a certain fame or notoriety depending on who you speak to, hopping in on one leg (he carries his prosthetic under his arm or over his shoulder and has been noted on occasion to even wear it), he sits at the bar, JR. serves.
Other customers have told me tales about him, about how when he was younger he would hide in the trees to drop upon the logging trucks, he's one of the local activists. A proper sort of Kootenay Character, the kind that are too regular lost to grasping landlords and gentrification.
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Dag's in, she's found a ride, "my neighbor, he's stoned 24/7; a real pothead..." she tells me. "Soulmate, perhaps?" I enquire. She laughs.
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The Menu, revised to reflect the increases in costs, restaurants, they're a dying breed. Ours has seen increases in the round of 20% over the year before. Last year they revised the menu again and prices went up 20%. We were always expensive, now we're prohibitive.
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The owners, they're showing it to potential buyers. They're older, they look to be retired, and I'm wondering what could induce people with the kind of money needed to buy this place to consider sacrificing a peaceful retirement for the "investment" opportunity afforded by this restaurant. After they've left the the owner is explaining to me that the wife is "healing" via "Quantum...." and she can't remember the word. I know what she's talking about. "Quantum Jumping" I say.
Sr. is shaking his head. I explain, because I get these video "recommendations" all of the time on YouTube, and have succumbed to most of the rabbit holes.
"Imagine that there existed somewhere in the infinite multiverse an intelligent, good looking, successful version of yourself...now, imagine harder and pray and maybe you can become that person....", he's baffled, his wife is laughing, I clarify to her later: "Yeah, I visited all the multiverses, there was no multiverse where he was both good looking and intelligent, you have to choose...".
In absence of our trusty scapegoat I've assigned our chef - S*** - the role of Ken, and have begun ascribing Ken's backstory to S*** with all the new employees. I don't think S***'s impressed, but - this restaurant needs a Ken like every trashcan needs an "Oscar the Grouch" and until I find another he's it.
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The weekend passes. One young couple, up from Idaho, chatty, here for the hot springs, they're having a great time, loving it, going to make it a yearly thing. So I make my recommendations as to the sights in the area, and, now back in the restaurant they're breathlessly telling me that they got engaged. And she shows me her diamond ring, very pretty, diamonds all round the band and they're both over the moon and more than a little tipsy. Their Facebook is blowing up, and they're soon busy answering all their messages.
Even at our prices there are still customers, although a lot of them are getting in the habit of splitting burgers and appetizers, I can't blame them, we've gotten too bloody expensive.
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In town, checking town prices, The Main St. Diner, good food, similarly vast menu, 35% cheaper. With the 25% tipping "option", which I find annoying, but at our prices we're in no position to be slinging mud.