A sunny, albeit brisk day off, walking through Kensington, I pop into new age shop on 10th to look at the crystals (much like the crystals I should have found with my daughter last year, did find, but she hadn't the patience to dig them up. *sigh*). And I discover this:
This is without a doubt the most brilliant piece of bullshit I have ever seen. To reiterate the certificate in plain text:
Certificate of Authenticity
Live's Treasures Kauai
Certifies the Authenticity of this
Monatomic Andara Crystal
with Resonant Scalar Holo-Dynamic
Lemurian Codex Encoding
and Enhanced Light Activation by
∅m "not mark"
January 2013
Below find an image of the certificate, surrounded by the "Monatomic Andara Crystal's":
Now Kensington has a few of these shops and more than a bit of a woo-woo going on, there's the Homo-Luminous window across from Pulcinella, and another couple of rock shops, but this, well, for today anyways this takes the cake. The crystals, they appear to be large fused pieces of glass, looking it up they are purportedly of Volcanic origin (Rainbow Volcanoes, doubtless), I'm gullible, for sure, but this is taking it too far...each "crystal" priced per gram, an average piece on the table would sell for more than $100.
Searching the internet (I wasn't aware that Lemuria had been found, thought it was a myth, apparently not...lol)
"The Lemurian people lived on this earth in ancient times, and worked extensively with crystals.It seems that some sort of immense misfortune overcame the Lemurian people before they disappeared from the earth.
The impressions that many folk get of the people of Lemuria, is of gentle innocent people who deeply loved the earth.
It is believed that those who lived during the time of ancient Lemuria were highly spiritual beings.
These crystals are important as it is believed that they left messages within the stones for us.
These stones seem to have been programmed before they were placed into the ground."
I am definitely in the wrong business...why find diamonds when you can simply exploit the gullible, naive and simple minded with new age frippery like this? A color printer, a few stock certificates, invent or pillage history for appropriately remote locations (Atlantis, anyone?) and I'm set.
Now seriously folks. I'm not going to give away too much here, there are rules, after all, but if you would be a Witch or a Wizard there are no store-bought solutions. A store-bought wand or spell possesses about as much magic as a stick tied to a rock, and you've just wasted a whole lot of your hard earned cash. If you would practice magic you must find the ingredients yourself, this is the first and most important phase. This is where the magic begins. The second is to observe the appropriate ritual in the finding; be it a twig or a rock or a piece of a dead animal, the ritual might include an observance to the time (full moons are popular, as are moonless nights), as well as other details and attentions (fasting, diet, purity, etc). And from here you're on your own...
Unless, of course, you're handy with a shovel and a gold-pan, in which I case I'll consider offering you an apprenticeship...