Just take my word for it, sell them at the Apple shop and buy a PC. If they do Android PC's then do that, fuck Windows too.
Afternoons spent at the Library, following the directions given me by bro. to update the MacBrick Air.
It takes about an hour to download, then another hour to install. You hang on screens for an hour, then it reboots, then again, then again, and you get the: 
This minute remaining, this is the minute alone I want to spend with your wife. This is the same minute the Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses need to tell you all about God. This is the minute of your time to answer a few short questions about...
This is the minute Einstein took to come up with his theory of relativity. In other words, it's never a minute, never has been, never will.
Finally, Big Sur, and then it's telling me I need Sonoma, another day, another trip to the library (free Wifi), another hour downloading, installing, perpetually rebooting, then finally, Sonoma, green hills and vineyards of California, only - wait - the screensaver disappears, and the wifi icon has gone dark.
I've just downloaded a shit-pile of new problems. And I'm just about done, this dream of having a single decent working laptop - well, it's maybe just a dream or maybe it's time I got real and swapped my MacBrick Air - take the cash from the local Mac Dealer, and just buy a decent PC. I mean, I have a decent PC as well, only I was hoping to get rid of that too...
Too much technology, all these things that purport to do the same thing - the MacBrick, coming in at an enviable 12 GB OS and 120 GB memory, that would have been enough...
But nope, nope, nope. And this HP Scream, not nearly enough anything, stop motion YouTube and I've never even tried it on Porn.
And the other PC, a Lenovo, a brick as well, too big for this apartment, and given the market for used PC's I might as well donate it and be done with it. 3 computers, not one of them can give me everything I want, and I'm hardly that demanding, I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking women might be easier...