Home

Of Ken and Angelica Huston

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Dreams

Published: 19 June 2021

Hits: 1620

At a party, of sorts, a few people I know, mostly ex's that I haven't seen forever. 

Talking to them and everything seems to be forgiven. 

There's a stair running down a wall, and there's a large, dark haired woman wearing a close fitting velvet mask over her face - covering it entirely, except for the eyes and mouth, even the lips are covered in velvet...

She's here for Ken, about their child, and she reminds me of Angelica Huston, or Elvira, those oversized beauties, and I'm laughing at Ken, I didn't know he had a daughter, how did this happen? And Ken's beneath her on the stairwell, talking earnestly to her, and then I hear on the radio about Shag Harbour, and how abuse of seniors is common with orderlies, and I'm laughing at Ken and Angelica/Elvira is nodding earnestly at me as if I've figured it out....

***

Now I'm talking to these ex's, and I get the feeling somehow that I'm to reconnect with one of them - there's one, she's beautiful, so-and-so but not so and so, she's not as I remembered her, not at all, and she's aged, like me, only not so much, matured, covered in freckles that have grown together, beautiful by no conventional measure but I find her so nonetheless, and we're talking about pleasant things and I invite her for coffee, it's been so long, just coffee...

The King of Balfour

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Miscellany

Published: 16 June 2021

Hits: 997

The Jackpot has been carried forward. Goddamn!

My numbers, they didn't come up and now I'm committed, what if the lotto was won with my numbers, or they came up and I didn't play them? You hear of it all the time....

I'm damned. At least until somebody wins.

I told the customers, "The Coronation is taking place at the Superette, just before I don't go to work..."

And now I've had to defer it. It's not a big deal, really, a surprising number of villagers didn't turn out for my much-anticipated Coronation on Saturday. And I'd so prepared:

"Thank you, loyal subjects and humble peasants that have come for my coronation...your virtues and good judgement are not unrecognized, and will be amply rewarded..."

As I kneel before the lotto-ticket-verifying-machine...

It's a bit much for the Superette, and they're losing patience with me.

Meanwhile, at work we're laying all sorts of plans for my impending Kingship. Chris, by means of sportive competition, has declared himself "Duke of Balfour", and I can sort of see it, after the Duke Character in Huck Finn.

I use the extra time wisely, I have surreptitiously applied the King's touch to the entire town of Balfour and cured it - entirely - of Scrofula. 

And I educate the staff. "Teach the girl to curtsy!" I tell Ken when the Kitchen help fail to acknowledge my presence. He apologizes for me, then tells me later that he could teach them, he watched an entire episode of "Game of Thrones" dedicated to the subject... 

I forgive them. They are but Scullery maids, educated by none-other than Quasimodo.

Ken doesn't get this, and so I explain. As I must whenever the pop-culture reference don't involve spaceships and easy alien-girls.

I devise names for the villagers.....so-and-so keeps chickens, and so I call them "The Poulterer", and so and so fishes, and becomes "The Fishmonger", and as King I feel delighted to be so in tune with my humble, adoring Villagers. 

There is, of course, a back-up plan. Just in case I don't win the full 70 Million (which a quick Google search suggests I may not have...). The plan for subsidiary prizes:

The Marquis De Balfour, with a list of sexual deviances that I intend to popularize (De Sade didn't INVENT Sadism, he merely POPULARIZED his vices...), so that every working girl will know the trick when a client asks for a "Lord Balfour" or, quite simply, a "Balfour". 

But here I'm a little confounded. And I'm needing a little inspiration - or a lot, and I'm sure it will come. Meanwhile I'll content myself with asking every reasonably attractive girl for a "Lord Balfour" and see what comes up...

Lottomax

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Blog

Published: 09 June 2021

Hits: 945

I'm sorry, but this may be my last post for a while. 

Tomorrow I intend to win the LottoMax 70 Million Dollar Grand Prize, as well as a few of the subsidiary prizes (Maxmillions, Extra's, Etc.). 

This wasn't an easy decision, but it made sense what with the restaurant getting crazy busy and all and me having other, more important things to do.

"Enough is Enough" as the saying goes, and as I've done my stint in poverty I'm overdue for a change of pace. 

This is how I did it. 

1. I put myself into a hypnopompic state and visualized the winning lottery numbers. Actually I just let numbers drift into my field of view and wrote them down.
2. I picked the numbers most likely to win based on the numbers that had won most often in the past.
3. I assigned numbers to a deck of cards and did myself a 7 card Tarot reading. One card (the king of clubs) didn't fit, so I drew another. 

3 Forms of divination. 3 winning tickets. And a lot of quick picks and Extras. 

I have seen the Kingdom of the Lord and it is bounteous and if Ye should right your ways and Tarry with me I will show you wonders....

Following the purchase of said numbers and ceremonial burning of the tickets (used for my purchase) I returned home to recline in my poverty. I will miss it. 

Actually, Nope, Nope I won't. Not one bit. Not a single iota. 

First thing I intend to do with my winnings is to buy a couple of dozen of the high end sex dolls from the USA. Silicon. Top of the Line. Every sex, race and flavor. And then have a midsummer rave/solstice party at Ken's. Invite the entire town to attend.

And then? And then. You just wait and see...

(**Went outside for a fag in the gloaming. And there was a shooting star. So, yeah, I won. I WON!!!!)