Home
The Lost Lemon Mine (2)
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Lost
- Hits: 2671
I've posted on this before, and if you're unfamiliar read this post: http://rodboyle.com/index.php/53-treasure/lost/552-the-lost-lemon-mine
Now having read a fair bit on it I've become convinced that it's just another "Lost Gold Mine" story, they're abundant, every state/province/town has one.
The "evidence", or "testimony" might be a better phrase, is too slender, the existence of Blackjack and Lemon questionable, yet still every few years in Calgary there crops up another "Explanation" for it, whether it be the Crowsnest Volcanics or simple low level gold accumulation in the gravels. Some are mere explanations, others are solicitations for investors. There are seldom any follow ups in the press.
A couple of possibilities, however, present themselves to the optimist. First of all, glaciation. Almost all of Alberta was covered in glaciation that pushed and scraped rocks from the adjacent mountains down the prairies. Walk, in the badlands or across a farmers field, and with luck you will find granite, metamorphic schist, garnets, every sort of rock imaginable, none local, all here as a result of glaciation. Think then of the Okotoks Erratic, a massive boulder deposited outside Okotoks, and then of the other erratics deposited throughout Alberta. They abound, the bulk of them buried under glacial silt, topsoil, etc.
It's not improbably, therefore, to consider that the same action that deposited the erratics might have shaved a gold bearing quartz ledge and buried it somewhere in the province. Indeed it would be improbable if, in the history of our province, that hadn't happened. And, slightly buried or slightly exposed, sheds it's gold in a seasonally dry coulee, to be eventually found by the imaginary Blackjack and Lemon.
Or consider, in the badlands and deeper rivers of the province, over 75 million, 100 million years of history is exposed. It seems unlikely, impossible even, that none of those rivers bore gold, find the intersection of the past and the present, worn cobbles deep in a river valley or on a cliff face, pan these and check, perhaps this is where it can be found...
In short, the myth is the myth, a legend, but it speaks to a deeper truth, that gold can be found in surprising place(r)s...
Pasta Fiesta
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2526
A phrase we coined to "upsell" larger, obviously budget-minded parties that would invariably order pasta instead of entree's off the menu.
The humor in this relies largely on the fact that the owner of the restaurant breaks into loud song upon reading a bill of 10 entirely different pastas...the "Pasta Fiesta" song, not so charming if you speak Italian or English or are seated any where near the kitchen. But then perhaps it's only fair that you hear this...
"You Mother Fuckers...what are you trying to do? Kill me? Porco Dio! Porco Madonna!" ....and the lyrics vary after this....
Death of a Volvo
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2991
Now this happened last year and it's taken me this long to write about. Not the pain, just my general lack of organizational skills.
One of those 40 below nights and I'm off driving my favorite car, a 1990 Sky Blue Volvo, 240 DL. You know what they look like, there's still a surprising number of them around. I had owned it for maybe 2 years, put on 130K+ km, sitting at a little above 300, 000 KM, this Volvo had a long life ahead of it. Or so I thought.
Driving, 40 below, and the car loses all power, a desperate rattling under the hood, the timing belt has gone. And it's a cold winters night, 40 below, and so I pull off at an exit (steering, no power), and manage to glide all the way into the Tim Hortons parking lot in Airdrie.
This is a miracle. Of all the places my car could have died, remote and distant roads, to die and glide into here, on this winteriest of nights, this is the favor of God bestowed upon his favorite chariot.
Not enough power to glide fully into a parking stall, my car is parallel to the drive through corridor, not ideal, but who's complaining? It's 40 below outside, I have too much to be grateful for...
I call the AMA. It's been a few years since I've used it, time to get my money's worth. And they assure me that they'll have it towed ("BERT AND JACKS!" I tell them, I'll tell you about Canadian Tire another time...), the weather, it's keeping them busy, they won't be there until after midnight.
Meanwhile I pop into Tim Horton's, apologize for my car, order a coffee, and explain to the clerk that my car is indisposed, it will be picked up and towed in the wee hours of the morning. The clerk nods and asks me if I'd like cream in my coffee. I explain again about the car, and the clerk smiles confusedly and points to the donuts. I ask to speak to the manager.
Patient, I'm nothing if not patient.
And I explain again that my car has died, inconveniently for them, in their parking lot, but it will be picked up by the AMA, wee hours, I won't be here, and I ask for a piece of paper so I can leave them my phone number. The manager, she doesn't speak English either. No one here does. Eventually she understands, or pretends to, and grabbing a piece of thermal fax paper pretends to write down my phone number. Except that I can see that it's thermal fax paper and the ink isn't sticking to it at all, but she smiles at me as if to say "look, I'm doing what you asked...." and I'm filled with despair, how many employees here, all Temporary Foreign Workers, and not a single one can speak English.
There's nothing more I can do, I return to Calgary by taxi and contemplate my next move.
The next day the AMA calls me to tell me they couldn't make it to the car on time, it's proximity to the drive through lane meant the RCMP called the only other towing company in town to have it removed. Not the AMA. You don't block a drive through donut window without paying the price, and although they could have driven around the Volvo in any number of ways the fact that was in the way of their midnight stampede for donuts, well, that was enough.
I go to get the car released, $200, another $200 to have it towed to Bert and Jacks, another hook up and towing fee for the unrequested tow in Airdrie ... I'm not so impressed. They let me know when it's dropped off. I'm in for over $500 so far, they look sympathetic, sure seems like a lot for an unsolicited tow because the AMA was late, but, hey, they've got the car now...them's the brakes...I wonder if they buy the cops their donuts or if it's a commissioned system...
Now to Bert and Jacks, but it's a Sunday, they're closed. And I make it by on Monday, and they're closed as well, and after a few days I realize that, after over 40 years in business, they've finally folded, only 2 days before, the fate of an honest mechanic, and the owner of the lot, the landlord, comes round and tells me to get my car off his property, somewhat kindly, but the pressure's on.
Taking apart the car, torque wrenches, the help of well intentioned roommates dropping screws on the ground, moving alternators, belts, eventually to discover that it's not the timing belt, it's the cam-shaft sprocket, shattered into a dozen pieces, and there's no place left to tow this, and so it's to the wreckers.
If I'd known a trustworthy mechanic I would have had it towed there, whatever the price, but a trustworthy and competent mechanic is like an honest politician or an ethical lawyer, I'd only ever known these ones, and they were now out of business, $500 into the funeral I empty the boot and say goodbye to what was, without a doubt, the best car I'd ever owned.
DIY Brakes
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 3060
Now it was time for me to return to Nelson for the Advanced Placer Course, only the car had been developing some issues. Trifling issues, like the brakes making loud squalling noises when I drove and not responding - however slightly - when I applied pressure. This was a bad thing, I needed to change the brakes, only I didn't have the $200-$400 to pay somebody to do it.
And I postponed, parked the car, avoided, procrastinated, until finally there was no postponing any further, Wednesday, time to leave, so I watched the requisite youtube videos and purchased the brake pads ($30.00, the cheapest, remembering a Bukowski novel in which he's trying to sort the deluxe brakes from the generic brakes and he asks "What's the difference?" and he's told none, only price..), another $20 for a C-Clamp and 13 mm wrench, and I'm off.
I'm paranoid, this brake changing, if it doesn't solve my problems I'm hooped. It'll be the bus to Nelson for the course, and a nightmare getting to work. And I'm a bit worried about not having the car on blocks, but I jack it up and make it steady, double check, and get it done. I've seen cars come down on people, I don't want to be that idiot. The pads are completely worn out, only 3 remaining, all together they don't measure an inch in thickness, one of them is vanished entirely and only the metal spring has been stopping me.
The whole job takes me 45 minutes and costs, with tools, $50. And they're working fine. Perfectly. I drive around, high mountain roads, not a sound, not a whisper, I'd forgotten what it was like, how easy was that and who pays mechanics $200 or more to do this? Bloody hell.
When I finally get back from the course - brakes working perfectly, I notice I've developed a small antifreeze leak, which - when my next day off arises, I'll fix, in all certainty it's a rad hose, leaky or loose, but I notice a curious symmetry in the events that remind me of a time when I took my car in to be fixed for a leaky rad hose and ended up (or so I was told) getting my brakes done, by "professional mechanics" at Canadian Tire, and it cost me - I'm not joking - $3000.00.
Think fraud, laugh, I know, that is a separate post, I merely wished to observe that having spent almost $3000 at Canadian Tire my rad hose was not fixed, my brakes (no observable problem, but I took their word) apparently were, and so I spent $3000 on a job I didn't need done and probably wasn't done, when I could have fixed my brakes myself for $50 and left the rad hose as leaky as they did. But I'll fix my own rad hose this time, thank you very much, and when I'm in a slightly more venomous mood I'll tell you all - tell the world - about the time I was swindled, defrauded, and out - and - out robbed by the Hunterhorn Canadian Tire, and provide all the necessary receipts and evidence for you to make up your own minds. But that's a different post.
Page 608 of 888