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miscellaneous trifles and gossip
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 1995
Payday and pa is grouchy, the nephew observes that he's always grouchy on payday, something about having to cut cheques to the staff rankles him to the core of his being.
Most of us just stay out of his way.
The nephew, he's in shit, I can hear it when I arrive at work, the yelling in Italian, and I gather the sense of the conversation from G's input, courteously in English for my benefit. The Nephew drove Gypsy home the night before, only they didn't arrive and Gypsies father began calling pa at home at 1:30, 2:00 in the morning, wondering where his daughter is. And as annoyed as Pa is he can't seem to shake the proud look off of the Nephew's face, finally he's had his way.
Which is a relief, as the unattainable has now been had we can perhaps begin working on a plan to dispose of her, surely he'll be getting bored soon....
We're still auditioning new servers, the new (but so very old) waiter must have the feeling that this will spell his demise, he doesn't let on. A rather homely girl, the Nephew tells me that Pa doesn't want to hire any more pretty girls for fear the Nephew or G will shag them, the hostess has stopped coming into work, her father forbids her, personal issues at home, and so it goes...
Gypsy has made it her personal mission to try and be liked by me. Now all she'd have to do is the tiniest bit of work, something to justify the money we pay her, but that's more trouble than she can bear and so she tries other strategies, trying to ask my advice on personal issues (and I laugh and with a hunched back and diminished stature try to impersonate her and the Nephew's love child...), asking me repeatedly if she's fat (I discreetly don't answer until finally she wears me down, "Not for a marine mammal you're not....but if I spotted you sunbathing on a beach I'd be calling Greenpeace....": Moral - don't ask questions you might not want to hear the answer to....), she tells me she doesn't eat Pork because it tastes like people ("And when did you last eat someone?" I query, and here she blushes and hangs her head...) ...
It's a circus.
days off squandered
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2298
Another rare day off, squandered, as it were, in the pursuit of trivial errands.
It's hard, impossible, even, to go out in this, in part the weather, cold and practically winter but without the snow, in part the NE neighborhood that's so bleak it forbids all reasonable exploration, eventually, after much internal wrangling and bargaining I set out.
Now they're trivial, small errands, thrift shops, deposit cheques in bank, dollar store, print off 150 pages of notes to be seriously edited and reorganized, reshaped, I'm not in the mood.
Things get done, and I'm surprised that I scratch any number of things off of my list. And, in addition, I find a fine pair of Georgian Candlesticks (antique, Brass, similar, but not exactly, to a hundred other pairs I have in boxes in the basement), some gaudy "Jesus" ties for a collegue at work - baby Jesus and Joseph, Jesus and John the Baptist, Various scenes from the crucifixion, an excellent gift, a pair of spare work shoes, razor blades, other trifles.
Then home, a much anticipated nap interrupted by an automated call from telus to ensure that I've received my yellow pages in good order. I answer, only because I don't want them calling back. Received and recycled, thank you very much, who uses these anyways?
Now it's late, and I'm starving having neglected to go forage for food in the afternoon, the fridge (predictably) is either a) Empty or b) filled with rotting vegetables.
I don't want to check.
Too lazy to shave and take a shower I abandon plans for a healthy dinner and head up to the neighborhood pub.
It's so bleak. This is a heavy price for laziness, too heavy, I really should have showered, gone further afield, there are much better places to grab a bite to eat....
Home, it's dark, early, the cats rubbing my leg, I've done the recycling, garbage, now time for a movie, "Hobo with a Shotgun", as recommended to me by the Nephew at work. Exactly as I would have imagined, somehow not the inspiration I needed (and where did he get all those shotgun shells? Did he have to buy them? The movie doesn't explain...), some surfing online, there's the printed pages to be gone through and edited, reshaped, this I will do in the office, take my writing off the computer and see if it doesn't somehow improve or make better progress.
Now to work.
Penny Plain - Ronnie Burkett
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Theatre
- Hits: 1920
Sunday with the boy and we're going to try and get rush tickets to see Ronnie Burkett's "Penny Plain" - a new production, commissioned by the Citadel Theatre in Edmonton.
Now I'm a pretty big fan of Ronnie Burkett, and I've seen most of his productions going back 25 odd years.
He's a genius.
But this time I'd kind of reconciled myself to the thought that I'd have to miss it - schedule, finance didn't particularly fit.
Until I found out about the Sunday Matinees.
Which fit perfectly, and so I'm at the theatre hoping against hope to get rush tickets.
It's this or we'll end up at Weibo's War at the Plaza.
And we get them.
Now the play, it's everything I've come to expect from Ronnie Burkett, Brilliant, entirely off the wall (and it seems he's getting more and more off the wall as he gets older), a dazzling array of puppets and great work doing the voices. This noted, his vocal range is going, and many of the puppets are starting to sound an awful lot alike....
As quirky and offbeat as it is it's par for the course, and there is the feeling that I should be challenging myself with slightly more - ?? - how to put it? More surprising theatre. It's a little like seeing 12 Angry Men, or Shakespeare, you know exactly what you're getting.
But I look at the boy, catch his reaction, and it is gold. He is impressed, he's never seen anything like this, and for me it's become a bit routine, for him it's all fresh and new, and that's why we go to the theatre. If you've only seen a couple of his, go and see it. If you've seen a dozen or so by him, take a friend and try and see it through their eyes.
The New Waiter
- Details
- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: People
- Hits: 1743
He's unusually merry for the morning, flushed cheeks and a contented smile upon his face, the Owner suspects that he's again taken to drinking.
He's not going to last.
The staff tells me that he stinks of booze, I can't tell, I give all the male staff a fairly wide berth out of caution, there are the not infrequent belches and farts that must be navigated around. They watch the security cameras, but they can't see any trace of his drinking, the owner looks around and can find nothing on the bar, suspects him of quick swigs from the bottle, I'm suspecting there might be a hip flask concealed in his slightly capacious trousers.
He's short, bald, looks easily 10 years older than he is, that is what the waiter's lifestyle will do to you. But he seems happy enough. A gold chain flashes from beneath a rolled up cuff, a couple of large and gaudy rings, he's old school, where you tried to look at least as rich as the people you served.
Pouring drinks, carrying a tray or plate, he's got the shakes and has to set things down, sobriety, perhaps, or the long years of drinking catching up to him.
Not even 10 years older than me he's a career waiter, everyone in Calgary knows him, have been served by him somewhere throughout the city. Knowing him is not a good thing, it's an excuse for him to stop and chat and catch up with our customers, he's not so quick as it is and now he's doing less.....
And he talks shit. Waiter shit, in 4 languages, fixing the house, his wife, his trips to the bar where he only drinks soda pop and coffee (being a recovering alcoholic and all), his operations and general health, the importance of having doilies to line the plates with....
We all know he's not long for the course, as soon as someone better walks through the door, it's tough to be too friendly knowing, he knows this as well, brings in sandwiches to share, somewhere in the back of his mind there must be the realization that he's not carrying his weight, that this is just another short stop on the way to unemployment...
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