The nephew's a bit obsessed, he'd been up late online the night before doing some research.
"Search necrofagia" he tells me, and explains: "it's people who like to eat their own shit..." .
I'm not going to search it, I'm not even slightly interested, but he's not taking no for an answer, he has some questions:
"Why they have such big hands?..."
Apparently the shit eaters have unusually large hands, and I keep alternately tapping my wrist ("Awake or Sleeping?") and trying to escape him, but he's following me around. I don't know that they do have unusually large hands, I only know that he's sort of the Italian equivalent of Karl Pilkington who somehow absorbs inane and irrelevant facts before disgorging his preposterous misinterpretations of them...
I try to change the subject, anything would be better than this and there's hours to go before the restaurant opens and he's showing no signs of giving up...
I give him the idea of a Nazi Based Theme restaurant, he's been of late talking of bringing in giant Swastikas to hang in the entryway, it's another interest of his. He wants to hang a big poster of Mussolini on the wall, he's just not sure his uncle would go for it. He loves the idea of a Nazi themed restaurant, mentally develops the idea, big marble floor with inlaid Swastika, giant double eagles, waiters dressed as SS, bars of soap piled in the lobby, he'd call it the Fourth Reich, design wise it would be a masterpiece but he doubts he could get planning permission, a shame though...
He doesn't let the fact that he's not on any list of the master race dissuade him, the fact that while in the old world notion of white supremacy he might not have been the first target, in no way would he have ever been allowed to survive or breed, it wasn't all about race after all...
His ignorance and racism, they're alternately charming and offensive, but this little SS fantasy restaurant idea of his, it can only distract him for so long. He's back onto the Necrofagia...
"Come to the office, I show you..."
We end up in the bosses office, googling necrofagia. There's no such thing as NSFW here, the whole job is NSFW.
"...necrophagy is the act of eating the flesh of a dead animal."
Now he's stumped, this isn't what he was looking for...we search a little further, the term he was thinking of was Coprophagia.
But there's no mention of the big hands, and here he's again stumped, he's going to send me some links, maybe he's wrong but ...
This not finding the information he wanted, it's quieted him for a bit, he'll do some more research, despite my pleadings of disinterest, he wants to know, not why they eat their own shit (perhaps this he can understand), but why they have such big hands. And I joke with the hostess that she should be careful lest the nephew invite her over for dinner, I can only hope that this occupies his mind a little less thoroughly than the Monkeys at the Zoo did...