Television, it's the common point of reference. It's what people who have absolutely nothing in common discuss when they have to work together.
For M and G it's the game last night - "Did you see it?". "No" I reply "I don't have a TV"
For Z it's the latest Bollywood film or Hollywood Blockbuster .... "Have you seen...it was on TV last night?".
"No" I reply "I don't have a television".
A thousand times the same questions, related to last nights programming, the answers always the same but nobody ever hears me.
"Oh my God have ever seen "Strange Sex"?" Begins the nephew, and no amount of denial will save me from what's coming.
"There's this guy, he's got the biggest cock in the world, ..." and here he pinches the flesh of his thigh beneath his trousers to give me some idea...
"And there's this girl with no vagina and there's this lady who can have orgasms by herself and she teaches classes and there's this guy..."
"....he has sex with his car, they show him underneath it kissing and hugging it...."
He's doing a standing interpretation of the TV show for me.
"It's not even a nice car, like a Ferrari or something, it's just an old car...."
Somehow I gather from this that sex with cars is not so unusual, only sex with ugly cars is, which standards seem to run counter to his philosophy with women, there all makes or models are somehow beautiful...