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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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The owner has seated himself after lunch with a couple of older women in the restaurant.
One, perhaps mid 50's, looks like a realtor and somehow they have a prior acquaintance. The second, a tall, statuesque blonde in her 40's, is new, and the owner seizes upon the introduction to display his many charms.
And somehow, as they're sitting there chatting he discovers that she's single, and so decides that she might be a good match for a newly single friend of his, T.
Now T, he's in his mid 60's, short - in the area of five feet, bald, not exactly overloaded with charm but solvent, wealthy even.
This blonde, she's close to 6 feet.
It's not going to work, but I admire the owner's loyalty in trying to set her up with his friend. She asks me - "What do you think? Do you know him? Is he a gentleman?". I'm stuck, can't say anything, the owner saves me by cutting me off "Of course he is...put them in the book for Saturday night....".
She's been set up. The nephew and I are having a laugh, "She needs a bull, not a goat" he tells me, and I have to admire his phrasing, he's right, nailed it precisely on the head, but we'll see on Saturday night how the date goes....
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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Friday night and there's a larger group of attractive Lebanese girls in the private room. 12 to be precise, all 20 something, with that dark-eyed and attractive complexion that comes of not immersing oneself too deeply in Western Culture.
Now they're all quite pretty, but I'm not interested. I'm far, far too old and I have this prejudice that pairs people of distinct cultural influences with like-minded people of distinct and similar cultural influences....
Some are still in the hajib, they're not eating pork or drinking liquor, but otherwise they seem to be having a good time.
I ask them what's become of the Talking Waiter, we still have no word as to his whereabouts, but that's a different table and they don't know him.
The boys - Nephew and G - keep swinging by the table, chatting to them, they don't, apparently, suffer my cultural prejudices, and eventually the Nephew adds one of them to his phone.
***
Now the Nephew, he's hung over, he had a crazy night on Thursday, drinking several times what was wise and today he's hurting, bad, he's not trying to pick anyone up for this evening, just keeping a door open for later.
But when he gets home the girl begins texting him, she wants him to come over, she's at a friends and they can have a spare room....
Nephew's hurting, not interested, not tonight anyways, but she doesn't give up. Maybe he'd like to split a hotel? She's only 16, and she begins sending him nude photographs of herself....
The Nephew, he tells me this, I believe him, never does he profess the slightest shade of integrity or virtue and nothing he can do or say will even slightly alter my perception of him, he is, in my mind, complete.
And as surprised as I am that people I'd consider to be - well, more morally congruous, are not so entirely, I can't help but to think that if you were to go off the Muslim bandwagon wouldn't it be a bit less taboo to have some pork or a drink? Certainly, comparing the Nephew to a pig, the Pig is a noble beast, the Nephew should have all of the unclean associations. But that's just me.
He's too hungover, the girl keeps sending him pictures of herself in increasingly spicy poses, he eventually blocks her on his phone.
Another one from the Nephew, long to narrate and completely without point but he feels compelled to tell me, only serving to somewhat dispel any illusions I might have harboured that other cultures and religions somehow harboured any greater or more solid values than those decaying in the West.
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: People
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: People
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Now J is a friend of the owners, we tip him out as an equal even though he has no experience as a server. He has some common sense and is eager to help out, that's enough.
He works weekends, or whenever we need him, he's a good guy. His day job he works for Telus, but - close to my age - his bills are paid, his children raised, he's successful in his fashion, he works at the restaurant to help out his friend but something's missing.
It's love.
He's divorced, the particulars are nasty and we don't ask, it's a long story, he'd be happy to share it but we know better.
But, more to the point, he's a current flame that's walking all over him, and this hurts, not just himself but all of us.
He tells us the stories, keeps us updated as to the status, even cynical and derisive me, our advice is always the same.
He's close to my age, perhaps 40 something (early forties) - good looking, 6'1" or so, buff, short curly blonde hair, professionally attired, most women would consider him a catch. He's a slight nervous tic, irregular, somehow it makes him more endearing. He's religious, attends church on Sundays, but not preachy religious, it's his own thing.
I respect that.
But his girlfriend.
We've had all the stories, even served them before he started here to help us out. His girlfriend's a bitch.
At that time we said nothing, not our place, but you could tell. The girls especially.
She's a bit older than him, 46 or so, fit, good looking, youthful, but she's got him on a string like a yo-yo.
Somehow or another he's gotten into her bad books, some months ago, and she's told her children, her friends, what a bad guy he is.
It's not true, we know him as well. He's a good guy. A trifle boring perhaps, but a good guy nonetheless.
They've dated for almost 2 years, he's hopelessly in love. But they've had problems, he's attended - at her bequest - "Anger Management" counseling. Nothing could be more absurd. And they've seen therapists - at his expense - still the relationship falls apart.
He has her passwords, works in IT after all, knows all her email passwords, computer stuff, knows her intimate private life, it cuts him to the quick.
He took her to Mexico, a platonic vacation, caught her writing emails to her children telling them she'd decided to break up with him.
She hadn't told him, wanted to wait for the vacation to end.
He's bought her children laptops - Apple, as that's the brand, paid for their medical expenses, Dental, schooling, still they don't like him. Mom's said he's a bastard, it must be true.
He bought her an engagement ring, $24,000 dollars worth, she broke up with him and kept it, was going to sell it to buy a car...
He bought her a car, Mercedes, for her to use while she helped him set up his business, it wasn't good enough.
And they go on dates and he hacks into her email and discovers her profile on E-Harmony, she hasn't told him, she's off dating other men.
***
He's in love and doesn't know what to do, he begs our advice and then discards it, it's always the same.
I feel for him. I know - too well, his situation. Not that I've blighted lovers with gifts of $24, 000 engagement rings or Mercedes Benzes, but I know that feeling of love that defies reason, that when everything is so obviously wrong I've still pursued it.
You might say I'm a bit of an expert in failed romances. Not to my credit, to be sure, but - like anyone not in the situation, the symptoms, the outcome, is apparent.
I talk to him. I tell him there's no way she'll ever recant the lies she's told her family, children, he's doomed. That we've all seen them together, met her., that everything, heck anything he's told us about her is enough to persuade us that it's going nowhere fast.
He's dejected, he's heard this countless times before. Everyone he's told this story to has given him the same answer. But I, I feel specially qualified to address this, I've more experience in failure than anyone can shake a stick at. Truly, no doubt. And this is going nowhere.
I tell him to busy himself with work, if not Telus then here, the restaurant, Not to date, it will put him at her level. Don't talk to her, if you have to because she's called you keep it pleasant but explain you're busy and have to go. Easy advice to give, but damned tough to follow.
Give up her passwords, let her know he has them, let her change them, obsessively stalking her is a bad thing. Damn I know that one.
And keep busy. With work, the church, things important to him. In time - how much? I can't say. Years even. But in time she'll disappear. Meanwhile I just want to hug him, tell him he's a good, no - a great guy, and one day he'll find someone who appreciates him.
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: People
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The Nephew has lost his cat, Marvin.
Marvin was an indoor cat who somehow got out in the past couple of days and hasn't been seen or heard from since.
He's upset. He loved Marvin.
I try to console him, lightly as is my nature, with an offer of one of my cats, but he won't hear of it, he's busy calling the SPCA and posting up flyers in his neighborhood.
Now when he describes his loss it seldom centers on the cat. Marvin, yes, he was a good cat, but more important was the Christmas outfit he had ordered for him from Italy, $300.00 he spent, he was going to dress Marvin as Santa Clause and the dog and other pet (??? I don't know) as elves.
The costumes, they're nothing without the players expected to wear them.
And so I offer again my cats, either one, he can have his pick, and as the days pass and Marvin fails to show up he's considering it....