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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Blog

Published: 26 November 2022

Hits: 507

The videos that pop up, the unsolicited "content" that's designed to "engage" and keep you on the page. I mean, there's a few-very few- of the movie clips that are lightly amusing, but by and large it's generated garbage content, here are but a few of the more ridiculous examples:

A Prisoner, black, in orange sitting in a courtroom being interrogated by a judge. The defendant denies any knowledge of the crime, any involvement, because he can't walk. An accident a few months earlier has left him paralyzed. 

Meanwhile, behind the defendant and invisible to him a cop/courtroom security officer has dressed himself up in a gorilla suit and is slowly pantomiming his way towards the prisoners box. The judge continues his interrogation. Nope, he can't walk, he's paralyzed, blah blah blah. This will go on for the next 8 minutes. I haven't even clicked on play, just paused the scrolling. You know how this ends.

It's absolutely inane, completely stupid, and having paused the page to look at it (remember I didn't click) I'm besieged with these videos. They're all exactly the same, only a different convict, a different costume sneaking up on him, it's all bollocks. They probably film a hundred of them at once.

Or, one recently, the Albino girl makeover. A 25 year old poor albino virgin gets makeup, hair dye, contacts, turns out to be a stunner, and ends up heading out for a night out on the town. The same, again, this time a buff albino athlete. It occurs to me that probably I don't spend enough time thinking about the troubles albino's must have dating. 

Or, maybe I'm spending a little too much time...

The homeless man makeovers, where some barber pulls a vagrant off the street, gives him a shave, haircut, he as well turns out to be a model, gives him a pep-talk and sends him on his way. There's a whole series of these.

The trick, of course, with these makeover videos is to find the model and make them look plausibly homeless. Or Albino. And then "clean" them up for the camera.

So, my god I must be getting old that I'm actually not scrolling past these, and the solution is probably to get rid of facebook but then how would I know what's going on...?

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Blog

Published: 26 November 2022

Hits: 571

Link:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tchotchke

Tuesday, volunteering, the back room has filled up yet again. M******!@#*&@!$ the lazy Bastard!!!

A close friend delegated to clean out the estate of the recently deceased, dozens and dozens of boxes. Friend did not go through the items, merely swept them off the dresser, emptied the drawers, bagged up the linen and clothes. I wasn't there, I get this from someone who was.

Boxes and boxes marked "Chachke's",

better than most boxes, there are personal items here,  rare items of value...some antique jars, keys, a cloisonné salt shaker, jewelry, boxes of rubber stamps, art supplies, craft supplies, I'm guessing I would have liked her from the mish-mash of items, treasures, an antique jar filled with what I guessed were sea shells (they weren't), the cashier brings it back to me and shakes it into my hand..."What are these...?"  he begins with horror - "Teeth? From what animal?" followed by ..."Four dollars???!!!" he says, trying to get me to share in his horror, he's young, probably doesn't know how expensive teeth are....The teeth, now that I look at them shaken into my hand, they're human. I tell him and he recoils , I inform him, that had he been to the dentist for the fine selection, quantity of teeth in my paw now; well, it would cost a damn site more than $4.00...I know, I've been.

A fine leather jewelry case. Open it to find:

An antique piece of tin-can, rusted through, perhaps - I don't know, did she see a profile of the earth in it? I fancy I can Why this, in this satin lined case? And with this object, I'm perplexed, touched, it's beautiful, found art in it's purest form, clearly of immense value - a find - I know this, I value my finds as well - but the occasion of it I can only speculate. The circumstance is what matters here, and that is irretrievably lost. 

We know only that she liked it enough to pick it up and give it a preeminence in this satin lined case. 

And in this is our existence. Small, trifling, indecipherable moments that are impossible to share, translate, you had to be there, and now she isn't.

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Blog

Published: 18 November 2022

Hits: 498

These, gathered from the jeep, idle pick-ups from the summer. Not enough time spent gathering these for sure, but the location - work - well, time off I avoid the place.

The arrowhead's on the left, the black stone on the far right is a curiosity, curved, shows definite signs of knapping, heavy, harder, not local.

Detail of arrowhead. This is small, at most an inch long.

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Blog

Published: 10 November 2022

Hits: 542

In other news, the weather's been turning, rain, on the windshield, through the crack in the unclosed door, running down, up early to get a coffee and get warm. 

 Read the internet, the elections, imminent, Alberta, political news from there always triggers that Banjo music from "Deliverance" in my head, another obituary for another of our customers, one of the golfers, only saw them once this year, they were always very generous, but one was not looking in such good health. 

I had joked that the restaurant would not open in the spring, would be sold, but at this rate it's going to open to no customers...

This is the routine. Then to the thrift shop to do my sorting, unboxing, treasures a-plenty.

By Thursday I've cleared the backlog and the back wall, for the first time in 6 months, is visible. I turn my attention to the jewelry, thinking that this will be a relief from all the kitsch and kitchenware I've had to endure.

I was wrong. Unknotting chains, mostly costume, cutting apart necklaces for the beads, bad hemp jewelry, or poorly crafted pendants or beaded bits of earrings, bracelets, occasional bits of fake silver, real silver, the glint of gold plating or - much rarer - a diamond chip set into 9 karat gold...

These are not the treasures I was looking for.

Saturday, Sunday, winter's here. Overnight, the wind howling, snow drifts piling, in the middle of the night the cities black, the power is off, and I'm largely warm but getting cold, colder, my feet, there's no way to keep them warm.

Another sleeping bag, another layer.

Bloody hell. 

Make my way to Oso, run into V*****, a Quebecois who sits with me and tells me about his life, the moustached squirrel that broke into his cabin and spent 3 weeks inside eating everything, shitting everywhere, pissing everywhere, all while he was away in Quebec, and now he's returned to find this mess...

...and about work, and his son and chopping wood and all the trifling local news and how he needs firewood and his truck won't make it up the hill, too slippery...

I wasn't writing anyways, so sit and just listen. 

I meet J***, an acquaintance of V*****, who joins the conversation from a neighboring table, young, very handsome, fluent in English and French, by which I mean he has no accent, contrasted with V***** who has the classic accent. 

I get a call from the Police, they're reporting a break in at my jeep, and - for a moment - I'm confused. 

"Who should I call?..." I wonder. I head down to check it out, door flapping in the wind, only a few flashlights stolen as far as I can see, tape the door closed.

And, walking down past the commercial space I'd considered renting for the winter - didn't get around quickly enough to it, and somebody else rented, taped paper over all the windows and I have the feeling that they are doing exactly what I would be doing, using a bogus business, "Quack Medical" or some such, as a front for their living space.

Which brings us to the moment, free now, after a fashion, a million things to be done and it's time to get serious, and time as well to get moved indoors...