Home

Lagostina Cookware

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Miscellany

Published: 11 March 2009

Hits: 2785

Safeway's called. They have my Lagostina Cookware Set.

Terrific!

I've been there before, I know the drill. This time I'm going prepared.

I pack my digital camera to document the occasion. Last time I won they weren't nearly excited enough. If I'd had more time I'd have bought some posterboard and made myself a giant novelty cheque. But I'll settle for some snapshots.

It's a bit busy so I wait at the customer service desk until they can see me and explain in excited terms how I've won the Lagostina Cookware set. The clerk congratulates me and gets me to sign off on the necessary paperwork, then goes to fetch the cookware set. My cookware set. He's not that excited but he's gonna be. When he returns I seize the opportunity to get some photos. Another clerk, rejoicing in his discomfort, volunteers to take the pictures.

I'm helping him hold it because it's kinda heavy. If you look close you can see that there's an envelope. It's a letter from Canada Safeway congratulating me for having won their cookware set. I'm saving it for a rainy day. He's sorta excited but not really. He's probably disappointed that I came to claim my prize, he was hoping that I wouldn't and he could take it home for himself. Probably he would have tried to win one for himself but the rules of the contest state that it's not open to Canada Safeway Employees or their families so he couldn't enter.

Here I am shaking his hand. He's reenacting handing me the winners envelope. He's happy I've made him so famous. Probably he thinks we're going to be on the news. I wanted to get a picture of me hugging and kissing him, but I didn't want him to think I was gay. After I get it unpacked maybe I'll invite him round for a vegetable stir fry.

Here I am jumping for joy instead of hugging him. He's holding the cookware set while I jump. It's heavy. The reason I'm sorta crouched down is that I've just landed after my big jump, but the girl didn't take the picture fast enough. We tried a few times and this was as good as it got. He was very pleasant, but it woulda been better if they'd had some cheerleaders in the background. Probably I should have brought my own.

I asked if they had any giant novelty cheques they could give me, but they didn't. Next time.

As you can tell by the pictures I'm a very enthusiastic and photogenic contest winner. 

There are no stupid children

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Miscellany

Published: 11 March 2009

Hits: 2157

I do this volunteer thing every couple of weeks at my daughter's school. You sit and read with children, help them to practice their sight words, reading from books, it's Grade 1 through 3, half an hour spent with students from each class. It's a good way to get an interior view of how the school system is working, and gives me some idea of where my child is in relation to her peers.

You get to recognize certain regulars. Children who are behind, way behind, the rest of their class. The teachers don't send you the children that are reading at or above grade level. They send you those who are behind. And you can find reasons why.

Now there are the dry, physiological reasons some children learn to read more slowly than others. Things to do with developmental psychology, the myelan sheathing of the neurons in different areas of the brain, the development of the Angular Gyrus which is crucial for a child to process and interpret the information. But these are not the reasons that you're seeing for the most part. Now while I'm not a developmental psychologist, you don't need to be a psychologist to recognize the reasons that many of these children are behind. Just as you don't need to be a dietitian to diagnose the reasons behind obesity in a patient that eats every other meal at McDonalds.

One regular, "Sarah", a little girl, perpetually attempts to distract from the matters at hand. She wants to know what I've been up to, what's new, to talk about her family and the weather. She's developed the "Charm" dodge, deflecting the focus from reading, which she doesn't want to do, by talking about things that only a grinch or very rude person would ignore. So after parrying some deflections, and a light exchange of pleasantries, we get down to business. She's not incompetent, but her parents don't read with her at home.

This is a very common thread. Parents that don't read with their children invariably have children that can't read as well as their peers.

Then there's another, "Jason", who simply sits and refuses to read. He doesn't make eye contact, resents being sent out here to read, won't speak, gets up at several intervals to go to class and fetch "tools" to help him read, a ruler that highlights the words on the page, then refuses to read. No real dodges here, simply an out-and-out refusal to do the work. And you can imagine a home environment in which Jason calls the shots, and impotent parents accepting these behaviours. I'm a volunteer, I can only do so much, but then the teacher is as handicapped by his upbringing as I am. 

There's "Corey", who simply glances at the page and then loudly says "I don't know!", amusing, friendly, very charming. Another dodge. No effort made to sound out the words, merely a quick glance and "I don't know". It's funny, in a way, so charming and I can imagine the parents patting him on the head and letting him move on to play, the "I don't know" an acceptable, humorous excuse. Later on they will come to accept him as "Not so bright", never equating the fact that he's "Not so bright" because they never created the expectation that he would try or be bright. Charming was enough.

And there are the children that come out and try to read, grimace and do their best on the pages, some doing better than others, here there are the possibilities of developmental delays or, more often than not, parents that expect that reading is taught at schools and best left to the teachers and volunteers. It underscores a belief of mine, that there are no stupid children. But there sure are an awful lot of stupid parents.

The Starship Enterprise

Details

Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Dreams

Published: 10 March 2009

Hits: 1851

I'm in a cinema to see the new Start Trek movie. They've done a good job of it, the whole cinema is done up and shaped like the USS Enterprise with various levels and lobbies, I've taken a seat in one of the command chairs on the Bridge and buckled myself in to enjoy the show. And I can't remember the show, but I remember playing with some buttons on the side of the chair and watching as the Enterprise crashed and burned, feeling somehow responsible, but then I realize that it's only a movie and that my pressing the buttons aren't related to it's crashing. But Sulu doesn't see it that way, he's mad at me, Sulu the character, Sulu a composite of Asian Trekkie fans and Martial Arts experts that I have known, Sulu's blaming me for the wreck of the Enterprise, he's going to get revenge, and somebody advises me to leave and I'm not sure if I should be worried about Sulu the Trekkie but I know I should be worried about Sulu the Martial Arts expert and I'm bored with the movie now anyways so I leave and go to the lobby. There's a handbag, unattended, filled with expensive looking jewellry and on a whim I grab it and stuff my sweater, quickly leaving the cinema.

Outside the cinema I'm trying to arrange the jewellry under my sweater, to make the theft less obvious, wondering too late if there was a camera inside the theatre that recorded the theft. It's a beautiful summer evening, the cinema - starship has landed in a field, I'm regretting now stealing the stuff.....

Note: Damned odd dream. But cues that may have led to it - an email from my brother stating that the new "Star Trek" trailer looked good. And my boy's mother just had her handbag stolen from her car, with credit cards and passports. But no sense as far as I can see....