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I am a Unicorn
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Link of the day
- Hits: 1796
Doubtless you've seen this about the net, something about the male cleverbot's response "I am a Unicorn" inspired me.
Chicken Noodle Soup for the Waiter's Soul
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Conversations
- Hits: 1644
I'm not here for this one, but it's been well reported to me.
P & C have come into the restaurant, a superficially attractive couple in their early forties. By attractive I mean that the boys have all agreed they'd happily shag C, me, I'm not so attracted, she has that shallow smile and look of perpetual boredom upon her face that I find horribly unattractive.
And they're not the best customers, in fact no one can remember the last time they ordered something off the menu. Their water, provided gratis by the restaurant, needs to be without ice and with slices of lemon upon the side. Their ridiculous requests, usually made when the kitchen is far too busy to accommodate them, have the owner screaming at staff in the back. They can hear, they think it's funny.
This night they're bored, they talk to the Boss's nephew - "Is Rod Gay?" they ask, "He seems a bit...".
I'm not there, I wouldn't be offended if I was, I'd just politely tell P that he was out of luck. The nephew, he says he doesn't think so, I have children...
"What about you...?" they ask teasingly ..."You seem a bit.."
The nephew looks at them. "Give me 5 beer and your wife for 5 minutes and I'll show you...." he says to P.
They're shocked, flabbergasted, and from the look of perpetual boredom I've seen upon C's face I more than half suspect she'd offer to bring the beer if only...
The table beside them, 10 businessman, they're laughing uproariously, it's too funny.
P is beside himself, can't find words, finally: "That's not funny..." he says, but the Nephew has left, offended, they quickly finish their meal, pay and leave, there's the hope amongst all the staff that this might finally have been the last of them.
Plagued by Ghosts
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Dreams
- Hits: 2147
This is a recurring dream, of sorts, the opening into the subterranean world of crypts and the dead....
The sky suffused with an orange light, there's a cemetery in her back yard, about 24 plots, no headstones, just numbers in the grass.
And in the front and back of the cemetery the earth has fallen away to reveal holes that lead to the underworld, crypts and catacombs...
and I'm filled with dread, as if something unaccountably evil "lives" in there...
In my waking life there is no fear of bogeys or demons, coming upon an open catacomb I would be more likely to grab a torch and go explore than I would be filled with dread and apprehension...
the dream is different...
In this dream I'm terrified of these rents into the earth, as if something has been clawing it's way out, the graves, they rest quietly, 1-24, but beneath there is evil...
Now I meet the two spirits that have been haunting her, both female, slight of build, flat, monochrome, like cartoons, attractive but demon smiles play upon their faces...
The Secret History of Objects
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
- Hits: 2037
A garage sale on Sunday near to the Flea Market and I find a lamp.
It's wood turned, old, there's a sort of flicker to the varnish that looks a bit like gold, $10.00, and when I go to pay for it the elderly lady hosting the sale hastens to give me the provenance.
"It was made my Uncle when he was in high school. Later on he went to fight in WW2 and died at 23 when his ship was torpedoed...."
Sad, it should be kept in the family but she wants to sell it. Underneath the lamp is the stamp - Western Canada High School Woodworking, the makers name and other details.
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