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Rod Boyle - Human Random Number Generator

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Miscellany

Published: 20 November 2008

Hits: 2565

As rent is a little tight this month I have decided to partner with myself and raise some money through advertising revenue.

Counting on the fact that my website attracts an erudite and scholarly readership, I have to confess that I have a rare, savant-like ability to generate random numbers. This was discovered at an early age, when the 20 sided di rolled down a deep, dark and smoldering vent during a fast-paced and action packed game of Dungeons & Dragons, I became "The Di", generating at will random numbers for my fellow players.

While I no longer play Dungeons & Dragons, this is a skill I have exercised regularly and kept up with. Currently I'm able to generate entirely random numbers in excess of 10, 000 digits, which is no small feat. If you're in doubt, try it.

Hence I have decided to make use of my talent and prostitute my skills over the internet. Banner ads will appear shortly. Meanwhile, these are but a few of the services I will be offering:

1. Random Number Generation - Intigers, fractions, you name it. From $10 per digit. Delivery can be arranged via email, or if the purpose of the number is to be used for top-secret Cyphers or computer programs, via courier or Purolator Express. Please find some sample numbers and rates below.
   
   
   • 2 Digit Random Number - 12 - $20 CAN
   • 18 Digit Random Number with boundaries of -7¹³ to 10⁸ - 77623.0089153326321 - $180 CAN
   • Random Random Number (Will not exceed 100 Digits) - 1 - Fixed Rate $100 CAN
   • Random Numbers in Bases other than 10 - Base 7 Intiger - 6 Digits - 636211 - $60 CAN
   
   **Rates above do not include shipping and handling. No freight charges are applied if sent via email.
   
   
2. Unique Number Generation - Unfortunately, due to the popularity of this service most unique numbers under 12 digits in length have been taken. However, there are an infinite number of Unique numbers above 12 digits in length still available, and to compensate for the non-availability of smaller unique numbers I'm offering a sale: Unique numbers 30 digits and under for only $100 CAN. + Shipping and Handling where applicable. These numbers can be sent to you via email, in WORD (.doc), or .txt format. All Unique numbers are tested against the leading search engines to ensure they are really unique - one of a kind, just like you.
   
   
3. Art Numbers - Having splurged on your own Random or Unique number, why not have me make it into a work of art? For anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars extra I can convert your Unique or Random Number into a contemporary art masterpiece - supported formats - .gif, .png, .jpg, that you can print out on your computer, to "Hard copy" artworks using such mediums as paper, pen, ink, acrylic or oil on canvas or mixed media. In any size you choose.
   

               rodrand(Google -1)"   by Rod Boyle                               "15812 "  by Rod Boyle

TO order your own Random or Unique number, or have a quote prepared on converting your number to a work of art, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. 

Time Management Tips - Before 9:00 AM

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Miscellany

Published: 20 November 2008

Hits: 2424

Frequently people will ask me how I manage to get so much done in a day. 

The trick is, of course, to get absolutely nothing done. 

First, you start with the dishes - if there are still unused dishes in the cupboards, or at a nearby thrift store, then the dishes don't need to be done. 

Laundry is the same. If there's still clean clothing to be worn, laundry obviously doesn't need to be done. And of course, what with all the semi-clean laundry strewn about the floor, there's no way you can make the bed. Or even find it, but I tend to search harder for it in the evening than in the morning.

Work, unfortunately, has to get done. After coffee. So get the coffee done first, and then worry about getting work done.

Once you have the coffee done, before starting on the work you need a plan. Maybe a plan for the work, maybe a plan for the day. But nothing gets done without a plan. I find a cigarette with my coffee helps me to work out a plan in my head.

Often at this point I get distracted by all the things other people feel I should get done. Like the dishes and the laundry. But through careful disciplined thought I'm able to get these distractions out of my head....I've got my coffee, so I can't REALLY need to do the dishes. And the fact that I'm dressed, outside on the porch smoking, is proof that the laundry situation isn't as bad as I thought. 

So I get back to my plan. Sometimes, if I'm really organized, I write the plan down. A list of things to get done.

If I'm lucky at this point the phone rings. Sometimes it doesn't so I keep working on the list. 

There's the work that needs to get done. And if I'm smart I'll break up the work into little bite-sized "chunks" so I can scratch them off my list when I get them done. Then there's the blogging. A big list of things I should blog about. And some art projects that have stalled. So little lists grow and grow and sometimes grow some more until they become big or giant lists and I start to get discouraged. There's the shopping lists, can't forget those. The list of bills. The list of projects and the list of things that need to get done on each project. The emails that have to be sent out. The list of birthdays and special occasions. 

Once I have my list ready I make myself another pot of coffee. The first one was good, but nothing will get done until I've had at least 2.

I could empty the compost, I note, as I throw away the grounds, but that's not really a listable thing to do, so I just push it down a little bit more in the bucket and consider it done. 

Now I think I should have written it down, because if I had I'd be able to scratch it off the list of things that need to get done and feel good about how productive I am. And I review the list and I prioritize things, because that's how really efficient people get things done. I write down deadlines or dates beside the things I need to get done. And I try to prioritize things according to their relative importance. Work things are always #1. Blogging, writing  and artwork always seem to come in last. Still, with luck, if I work hard I can get them done too...

Now by now I've probably checked my email and there are a few people wondering if I've got things done. I haven't put this on my lists, but I answer all my emails and tell people that I'm busy doing their things or will be doing their things shortly and they can count on me getting them done. 

They trust me because I'm so organized and good at getting things done.

Then, because I'm now already on the computer I begin to check the news. I like to be well informed.

None worth recording

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Dreams

Published: 18 November 2008

Hits: 1820

The book is beside my bed, and the pattern's the same. I wake up, often in the middle of the night, but am too tired to get up and write the dream down. Or I wake in the morning, and am too tired to write it down. Or I find it too disjointed, meaningless, unpleasant to write down.

An example: Saturday night - following the Darfur film at the Marda Loop Justice Film Festival, I awoke in the middle of the night, strange dream of me in an Arab store, killing a blue turbanned Arab, cutting his throat, garish, obvious, blood, the arabs around me reassuring me that he deserved it, then Horatio Cain from CSI Miami comes with his team of crack-investigators to investigate, I've blood on my hands, they find the body in the freezer....I wrote it down, but hated it, couldn't bring myself to post.

It was too obvious. The CSI Miami comes from the barber where I get my haircut, it was on the TV as he clipped my hair, the cutting of the arabs throat a reaction to the film. Unpleasant, unworthwhile.

Maybe tonight there will be something better.