They've been breaking into his house again, he's not sure who, g-men, the illuminati. But he can tell because he went to take some vitamins this morning and he was completely out, and the last time he went to take vitamins there were some left. And there was a layer of dust on his toilet seat. Conclusive proof that people have been in the house while he's been away.
So he went down to one of those electronics shops that specializes in surveillance equipment. You know the ones, pinhole cameras concealed in walls, bedside clocks, teddy bears. Catch your wife sleeping around on you, catch your employees stealing from you, steal company secrets, night cameras, hidden microphones, you get the idea. And he was talking with the owner, a bright guy, he knew all the theories, about the birth certificates being traded on the stock exchange, about the new world order and the one world government. What are the chances that the owner of a surveillance shop would be paranoid as well? Bright guy. And apparently he's really, really busy, he could use a hand, my friend put in a word for me, the money's good...
Now this might be an opportunity....I've always been a recreational pervert, but the thought of making it a profession, well...there's an idea....
Anyways, he's quite enchanted at having discovered someone else on his page. It's validation.
The crazy girl from last time is at the coffee house too, only she's not so friendly this time, probably thinks we're crazy so we wave and say hi, then continue the conversation.
Apparently this guy, the surveillance guy, he's a black belt and a ninja.
"How do you know this?" I ask...
"He told me."
"Um. Ninjas don't tell you their ninjas" I tell him. "It's like black belts. They don't usually tell you they've got a black belt unless they're running a school or trying to get a date. Or like spies. If someone tells you they're a spy they're probably not a real spy..."
He hadn't actually looked at it this way...