It had to happen. I knew, hoped, waited patiently for the day, and my daughter has come back from her vacation and retrieved her cat.
I was worried, perhaps they were having too much fun without him, perhaps they'd just let me look after him for the rest of the summer, what if they had an accident and Pumpkin became my ward?
I was right, somewhat, they were back, but in no rush to recover their cat. But a deal's a deal and finally after much negotiating they showed up to reclaim him.
He looked a bit confused, like he didn't really want to go, but I went out of my way to help him into his carrier...
Finally.
I mean, and I know it's true, this is entirely a matter of personal prejudice. 100%. For some reason I just didn't click with him. I liked him, well enough for a cat, although he annoyed me with the games he played with Princess, sitting in the front doorway with his head lowered and growling so she couldn't get in, staking out my bed so she couldn't curl at the foot...
Sometimes she'd just have enough and there'd be a fight, she'd win, he'd back down, go and hide, but usually she'd just avoid him. Couldn't be bothered.
He's a good cat. True, weighing in at over 20 lbs he might be considered a trifle obese, but what's that? He was affectionate. If you like that.
And by affectionate I mean this is a cat that should be brought round to cancer wards to cuddle with terminal children. They'd love him. They'd never have seen a cat like this before, and could spend their days cuddling and petting him and marvelling at the resemblance to Garfield (less, of course, Garfield's meagre wit)...
He'd love it too. Being petted all day long, the center of attention...
2 weeks I've had him. Evey night he surreptitiously slips into my bed, bringing with him that unwiped-cats-ass smell, his matted fur with the bits of kitty litter clinging to his butt...
If you got past the unchanged litter box smell there was another smell, "Highlights" they call it in the cologne industry, of damp wool overcoat.
I have to wash the sheets on my bed.
Every night he'd sit in the living room, pretending to be sleeping on the sofa while I worked on the computer. And when I was done I'd shut it down and try to stealthily slip past him, he'd continue pretending to be sleeping while I brushed my teeth, but when I went to the bedroom I'd find him already curled up on the bed. Looking at me expectantly. And when I lifted him, shoved him over, he'd crawl back again, head-butt me, try and sit on whatever book I was reading, try it again and again until maybe I'd give up or maybe he'd just give up and poke his head under my arm as if he were reading along....When I was done reading it would be time to play, he'd purr loudly and writhe obscenely upon the bed, like an expectant lover, on his back, legs splayed, on his side and batting my face with his paws, licking my face, my arms, my hands and my feet....
It was disgusting.
If I was up late he'd come in, mew to distract me, bang his head upon my arm (there was no way he could leap upon the desk..), try to climb into my lap and be petted. If I let him he'd sit in front of the computer as well, (having to reach around his ponderous bulk to the keyboard), put his chin on the desk and gaze boredly at the screen, occasionally using his paws to swipe at the keys or mousepad....
He definitely thought he was a person. And I can totally see it, although I'm stumped wondering who....
Occasionally he'd go outside. Not often, just once in a while. Sitting in the garden sniffing flowers, as if trying to convince me there was a poets soul there.
Or mealtimes, going to his dish, from behind his fat frame and striped tail made him look like a giant racoon....
In the kitty litter box, or half in, as he never could fit, not at all shy, scratching the litter all over the hall before searching me out, mewing at me to be petted some more, brushed, tickled....
He was insatiable.
I wish I could say that I'd miss him but somehow I'm glad he's gone. It'll be a lot more peaceful here. And there's Princess, sadly neglected, when petting her always aware of his suspicious, hissing stare from across the room. Head lowered, eyes big and glowering.
Goodbye Pumpkin!