There's an article online about how men, given nothing to do for 15 minutes in an empty room, preferred to give themselves electric shocks rather than suffer the disquieting silence of their thoughts. You can read it here: http://www.spring.org.uk/2014/07/people-choose-electric-shocks-over-sitting-quietly-for-15-minutes-and-thinking.php
"Not me" I think, and I laugh. I'd be good at meditation. I had my own variety, which involved laying on the sofa or the bed and closing my eyes and thinking pleasant thoughts about cute girls. Time would fly by lickety-split. I never tried generating sweats, like the Tibetan Monks do, or the Yogic flying, but I'd probably be pretty good at that too, if I put my mind to it.
By strange coincidence, while at the therapists discussing the creative blockages that have dragged me there she suggests, in the course of our discussion, that I try meditation. Why not? She recommends me to a website - fragrantheart.com. I almost gag, she's got the right idea, but it sounds pretty .... well ...
In any event there's no rejecting the cure, and I'm obliged to try her advice, especially as I've paid for it, and I start with a couple of the introductory meditations, 2 minutes apiece.
The effect is noticeable, it increases productivity manyfold, there's no denying it's helping. Calm, silence the inner voices, calm, quiet, focus...
"Breathe in Love, breathe out Love, Breathe in Compassion, Breathe out Compassion, Breathe in Creativity...."
But it's not terribly manly, with the ambient new-age music in the background, and I puzzle over ways to improve it. Change the background meditation noises, add in things like jackhammers, saws, drills, engine noises, tools. A more manly narrator. Maybe this is where I can make my million dollars...
It's painful, this 2 minute meditation a day, and I find ways to avoid it. I've read some articles about tDCS, how running an electric current across your brain can improve flow, and I set about collecting the materials, wires, batteries, resistors, not so much shocking the brain, just a slight tingling...
Meanwhile there's the Violet Wand, an antique quack medical device which I fancy does the same thing, adjustable short shocks across my scalp, the visible arc of high voltage singing my hair, the smell of ozone, the meditation, I can come back to it, this will be easier...