The Free Ride
There is no free ride they say, but waiting, in Nelson, the driver looks at me - 7:00 PM, cold, dark, "I want to buy a ticket to Calgary" I say, chirpily, in mortal fear he'll decline, the depot's closed, they've cleaned it out, he checks me out: "Just get on" he tells me, I feel guilty for all the others that bought tickets - "I'll pay at the next town" I say and he gives me that look, like, "are you a fucking idiot?" type look and I sheepishly find a seat and don't bring it up again. The overnight trip, abandoned bus depots, disappearing, the memorial free ride, it's the end of an era, the end of Greyhound.
Jeeps, Jeeps, everywhere, Laredo's, Cherokees, old '97's, '96's, with fine paint jobs and the big boxy cabs, silver ones with immaculate paint, this trip to Calgary, get wheels so I can return to Calgary, it should be a breeze. Easy-Peasy. I've got money, not a lot, but enough, these cars, they're a dime a dozen, I've been looking now for months, making notes, know my market, my budget, I've got 2 days.
First thing, arrive, it's cold, freaking cold, 7:00 AM and I work my way from the bus depot to downtown, warm up in the mall like every other homeless bum, wait on the car-rental.
Make my calls. A surprising number of people list cars, I find, only to leave the province afterwards, they'll be around next month, next year, and a few weeks later when I'm in Calgary looking for an apartment I'll still be getting people returning my calls, confusing car salespeople for landlords, ...
Move down the list. Leave messages, send texts, into the void, into the void...One guy arranges to show me his jeep, thinks he can meet me at a gas station in the NE, waiting, waiting, he doesn't show, he had to borrow money and try and get it out of impound, it fell through...
And there's a pattern developing here.
The rental car, brand new, don't think I've ever been in a car that new, with the rear view back-up camera and eye tracking that tells me when ever I look at the screen to get my eyes back on the road, all this newness is confusing me, too many strange buttons and automations, nervous, driving it in the insanity of Calgary's rush hours, picking my nose before I notice the dashboard camera, 360 degrees, do they look at this stuff in the shop after? I wonder...
I'm driving end to end of the city, dire suburb to dire suburb, but seeing nothing, nothing at all, going down my list, making calls, more calls, but nothing is returned, and the day passes.
Dinner with the daughter, a cheap hotel, get onto my tablet and search, search, search, rebuild my list of vehicles for the 'morrow, panic is setting in.
The next day, bright and early, checked out at 8:00 AM, back towards the NE, a prospect, Jeep Cherokee, $1100, I'm in. And the lady selling, older, by which I mean my age, comes out in her pajamas, coffee in hand, the jeep, it looks OK, but the more I look at it the better it appears, but she tells me - now, that it needs gas, she's had it out for a couple of test drives, it's low, and we try and start it - again, and again, but it's not turning over.
I'm sucked into driving down to a gas station with her, buying a jerrycan, filling it with gas, this is bullshit but if it starts it could be worth it, I underestimated it in the light of the neighborhood, looking closer, inside, at the motor, it's not so bad, not for the price, but it's got to start. And it's not starting, merely the persistent "clicking" noise, the battery or the alternator, it's 9:00 already and I'm going crazy, the day is just beginning and this isn't an auspicious start...
She's upset, it's always started before, she feels guilty about imposing on me for the gas and the jerrycan, offering me wood roses she makes herself, maybe I could give them to a friend? Or why don't I just keep the coffee mug I'm drinking my coffee out of? And I've got to be flying, tell her, if she can get it started I'd be interested, at the price make it back to Nelson, check it into the mechanic, another grand and it'd be mighty fine, and I'm off...
Now to the South East, another jeep, but it's at a mechanics, he's got it on the hoist still, it won't be ready for another couple of days...
He's got other cars in the lot for sale, shiny cars, and I look at them, the last resort.
This, deep in the South East, the ice and snow have all melted from the streets, brown, a brown haze over the worst of all suburbs, ghettos, there's some guy with a bunch of used stereo equipment set up with a backpack at the service station, people coming around to look at his shit, I'm nervous leaving the rental unattended even for a few minutes, this neighborhood, it would be right at home in San Paulo, dodgy as fuck and I gotta get out of here...
The next car, a Land Rover, deep in the North East, and I'm having second thoughts - 170KM on it, nothing for a jeep but if you've read the reviews on the old Land Rover's that's kind of the end of life, I could afford the car, but not the maintenance, and so I cancel, now to the Northwest, we're out of jeeps, and I'm off to look at a Honda CRV...
...rusted, through and through, the paint is the only thing holding it together, 4 donuts for tires, all spares, no tread, and this for $2800? Is he on drugs? I don't even knock at the door, this is ridiculous, I'm running low on options now, pocket full of cash in a city filled with cars for sale and can I find one? Not a one...
I'm desperate, checking my phone, hoping for a returned call, somebody, please, PLEASE, and it's the girl with the jeep, she's texting me, "Um...this is kind of weird, but I was wondering if you're, you know, attached..." and this is it, the full on crazy, all I want is fucking wheels to get back to Nelson, I'm not boarding that bus, she's got it started, maybe I should come back? But it's the alternator, she just replaced it with another broken one, thought it would work...
Crazy, crazy, crazy, and I'm out of choices. Back to the mechanic in the SE, I'm the rollover, buy a RAV4 - shiny, like new inside, double my budget but I'm not walking back to Nelson, I hate myself every inch of the way, but night is falling, I've gotta get this done, spend the cash, hate myself, return the rental car, bus - deep back into the ghetto, and the lady-jeep is mine, 4 cylinders of AWD, curb-hopping at the super-market, and I console myself that it will do, for the moment, it will do, he can see it in my face, "It's very fuel efficient..." he tells me, and I think he's taking the piss, suck it up, swallow, breathe...
A long, long drive back to BC, over the pass, this too-precious and too-expensive car for me, I fucking hate it every inch of the way, and, it's been a couple months now, and my feelings haven't changed. When my finances repair themselves it'll be back to the jeep, an old jeep, something made for the roads I like to travel, this, just another bad step on a road I shouldn't be on...