The Week of the 29th August, 29th, 30th, 31st, there's a family reunion in Cranbrook at the St. Eugene Golf Resort.
I didn't know there was anything this beautiful in the East Kootenays. The hotel, restaurants, casino, all built in the old residential school which has had substantial renovations. They've turned a grim history into a beautiful playground for the upper-middle class golfers.
Except.
Well, the rooms, $225 per night (I'm not on any sort of golf package), fine, not extraordinary, much the same as you would get in Cranbrook for $100 a night or less.
The art on the walls, exactly the same generic artwork you'd find on any hotel wall, from a Motel 6 to a Sandman Inn. And this - this is tragic, especially given the setting - the grounds, the line of mountains to the east, the school, if they'd hired a photographer they'd have had beautiful, pertinent art in all the rooms at a fraction of the price.
Walking around the resort, the tiles on the floor are breaking, the wallpaper is peeling, this was a hasty cosmetic renovation, to good effect but of no real substance.
Now to the meat of it. The Casino, a popular destination for locals - no table games, only the standard mindless banks of slot machines. The clubhouse restaurant is closed due to a "Shortage of Staff" - a sign everyone has seen out here, and so we're forced to eat in the Casino.
Their menu:
It is, without a doubt, the grimmest menu I've ever seen. And, true to suspicions, there isn't a single item on it that is "prepared" in house - every fucking thing - EVERY FUCKING THING - from the hamburgers to the pasta and sandwiches - is taken out of a GFS box, heated and slammed onto a plate.
It's disgusting.
And the "shortage of staff"? Well, there's visible a couple of "Hospitality Students", from College of the Rockies, here serving.
They're doing a bunglefuck job.
This, given the jewel of the hotel, of the pastoral mountain setting and the immaculately groomed grounds and golf course, is beyond wrong.
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Morning, I don't eat breakfast but the family does. In the clubhouse, again, nothing prepared fresh, bacon, pancakes, hashbrowns, scrambled eggs, all served lukewarm from chafing dishes. My rage builds.
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This was a sign that goes a long ways towards explaining the "Staffing Shortage". Spotted in the Casino, posted where any customer could read.
It looks as if it were colored by a half witted kindergarten child. You know this was managements idea.
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Given the affluence of the clientele that come here, that have spent good money on the "buy in" to stay in their rooms, play the golf course, this is intolerable.
There should be a proper restaurant, with real food - well prepared, proper servers, not "students of hospitality" - none of these dumb-ass motivational posters, no cracking tiles, peeling wallpaper, generic art, this whole resort is the very model of how not to do hospitality. Top to bottom. If a fraction of the millions they spent renovating the residential school was spent building staff accommodations they would have no shortage of staff. And they can't argue a shortage of funds or space, it's a fucking golf course goddamn-it.
St. Eugene Golf Resort in Cranbrook. Just burn your money, don't encourage these clowns.