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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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The Jackpot has been carried forward. Goddamn!
My numbers, they didn't come up and now I'm committed, what if the lotto was won with my numbers, or they came up and I didn't play them? You hear of it all the time....
I'm damned. At least until somebody wins.
I told the customers, "The Coronation is taking place at the Superette, just before I don't go to work..."
And now I've had to defer it. It's not a big deal, really, a surprising number of villagers didn't turn out for my much-anticipated Coronation on Saturday. And I'd so prepared:
"Thank you, loyal subjects and humble peasants that have come for my coronation...your virtues and good judgement are not unrecognized, and will be amply rewarded..."
As I kneel before the lotto-ticket-verifying-machine...
It's a bit much for the Superette, and they're losing patience with me.
Meanwhile, at work we're laying all sorts of plans for my impending Kingship. Chris, by means of sportive competition, has declared himself "Duke of Balfour", and I can sort of see it, after the Duke Character in Huck Finn.
I use the extra time wisely, I have surreptitiously applied the King's touch to the entire town of Balfour and cured it - entirely - of Scrofula.
And I educate the staff. "Teach the girl to curtsy!" I tell Ken when the Kitchen help fail to acknowledge my presence. He apologizes for me, then tells me later that he could teach them, he watched an entire episode of "Game of Thrones" dedicated to the subject...
I forgive them. They are but Scullery maids, educated by none-other than Quasimodo.
Ken doesn't get this, and so I explain. As I must whenever the pop-culture reference don't involve spaceships and easy alien-girls.
I devise names for the villagers.....so-and-so keeps chickens, and so I call them "The Poulterer", and so and so fishes, and becomes "The Fishmonger", and as King I feel delighted to be so in tune with my humble, adoring Villagers.
There is, of course, a back-up plan. Just in case I don't win the full 70 Million (which a quick Google search suggests I may not have...). The plan for subsidiary prizes:
The Marquis De Balfour, with a list of sexual deviances that I intend to popularize (De Sade didn't INVENT Sadism, he merely POPULARIZED his vices...), so that every working girl will know the trick when a client asks for a "Lord Balfour" or, quite simply, a "Balfour".
But here I'm a little confounded. And I'm needing a little inspiration - or a lot, and I'm sure it will come. Meanwhile I'll content myself with asking every reasonably attractive girl for a "Lord Balfour" and see what comes up...
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Miscellany
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Another article on the Wuhan Flu. Sorry, it's not racist, it's increasingly obvious that we've not been given the full story as to how this was unleashed, and the author takes pains to outline why we should be skeptical of "Official" narratives. I'm not prone to conspiracy theories (I think) - but let's give credit where credit is due - and reexamine our relationships both with China and with companies that have ties with them. And remember where it came from - and "HOW" it came from, the damage it's caused globally, and hold those responsible to account.
Link: https://thebulletin.org/2021/05/the-origin-of-covid-did-people-or-nature-open-pandoras-box-at-wuhan/
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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A website that creates a sigil from your intent. The internet of Magik ...
It used to be magic, before everything became obscured by ads and owned by multinational corporations.
Anyways:
The Sigil Engine: https://www.sigilengine.com/
Other related sites of interest: The Online Tarot (here a disclaimer, I'd generally prefer to do a reading with proper cards, candles & ambience, but - these will do in a pinch:)
Used to be a favorite, but the site is no longer maintained and most of the decks and options have disappeared:
- http://www.fourthdimension.net/thoth/
- https://www.trustedtarot.com/free-reading/#start
- https://www.evatarot.net/
- https://www.queenoftarot.com/tarot_readings/
The Bigfoot/Sasquatch Tarot: HERE (Crazy as it seems for such a specific request, you have choices...Because who DOESN'T Think of the Tarot and then Bigfoot?)
And, since clearly you're here wasting time, The I-Ching:
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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This is the most perfect family vacation ever. Well, not ever, but it follows the template.
The boy's come to visit, arrives Sunday night. Late, but not late enough, we're still busy, and he's forced to wait a couple of hours for me to get off work...
Visit, catch up, the next day we take the jeep to the Crystal Bonanza...
Long roads up to the turnoff, long roads up the mountain, a hot, hot drive and day...
And, 12 KM off the dirt road, up the logging road, verily 6 km past the logging road and perched upon the summit, close, close enough, and the radiator blows in cloud of steam and shower of antifreeze.
Sad to say, it wasn't a surprise. This is the template for my summers, ours (the daughter, mine, and the boys) summer misadventures. Lift the hood and wait for the engine to cool.
Meanwhile, I grab my knapsack, hammers, chisels, shovel, water - "We're close enough, we can walk the rest of the way..." I tell him.
"You're on a different planet" he tells me, by way of skeptical disagreement and attempt to dissuade me from continuing on...we've got a whole new set of problems to worry about.
I expect this. It's the "rebellion" phase, like "Mutiny on The Bounty" I'm used to it.
I'm not worried, I've been here a hundred, thousand times before. "Misadventure" should be my middle name. Let's worry about the crystals, then worry about going home...
...a few hours later, we've gathered a few, enough, and (he's visibly relieved, although he was impressed with the quality of the diggings...), and we're turning the jeep around, rolling it in neutral down the mountain, power steering, brakes, a bit harder to use, but it's all downhill and there aren't any tow-trucks that will pick us up here...
...onto the main dirt road, start the jeep, make it up the small hill, then turn it off and use the inertia to carry us down the hill and over the next...
Until finally we reach Trout Lake. A tiny community still 50 KM from cell service. We borrow a landline and call the AMA. BCAA. A two hour wait and a big flatbed loads us onto the back, the friendliest driver in the world, and another 45 minutes (and a lot of prospects spotted from the back of the truck) and we're in Nakusp. I let the boy pretend to drive while we ride, until I get jealous and replace him. We book into the Leland inn, oldest hotel in BC, have a big deep fried dinner on the happiest patio in the world, 100 year old trees grown up through it, right on the lake, a warm autumn evening, He didn't think we'd make it, here, his sack of crystals, spoils, but - adventure first, misadventure second, here we are...
Lelands, oldest hotel in BC (or so they claim), unpretentious in the extreme, nothing here that doesn't fall off the GFS truck right into the deep fryer. A beautiful summers night, on the lake, a bottle of wine, this is it, our family tradition of misadventures, and I can tell, the boy wants to move out here so very bad, and Me, I'm the worst living advert for the Kootenays there ever was....
We ordered the one bottle of wine with a cork, goddamnit!!!
Note the corkscrew..
The boy on the patio...the illusion of normalcy....
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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And summer's here - finally, full on, tourists, out of province plates, everything is "back to normal". Except I can't help feeling that it's a bubble, a brief respite, it's not over yet whatever lie the numbers tell, there will be outbreaks in the fall - if we make it that far, and there's the impending civil war in the US. But for the moment I should just enjoy it and try to make some money...