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Ninjas don't tell you they're ninjas
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Conversations
- Hits: 1243
They've been breaking into his house again, he's not sure who, g-men, the illuminati. But he can tell because he went to take some vitamins this morning and he was completely out, and the last time he went to take vitamins there were some left. And there was a layer of dust on his toilet seat. Conclusive proof that people have been in the house while he's been away.
So he went down to one of those electronics shops that specializes in surveillance equipment. You know the ones, pinhole cameras concealed in walls, bedside clocks, teddy bears. Catch your wife sleeping around on you, catch your employees stealing from you, steal company secrets, night cameras, hidden microphones, you get the idea. And he was talking with the owner, a bright guy, he knew all the theories, about the birth certificates being traded on the stock exchange, about the new world order and the one world government. What are the chances that the owner of a surveillance shop would be paranoid as well? Bright guy. And apparently he's really, really busy, he could use a hand, my friend put in a word for me, the money's good...
Now this might be an opportunity....I've always been a recreational pervert, but the thought of making it a profession, well...there's an idea....
Anyways, he's quite enchanted at having discovered someone else on his page. It's validation.
The crazy girl from last time is at the coffee house too, only she's not so friendly this time, probably thinks we're crazy so we wave and say hi, then continue the conversation.
Apparently this guy, the surveillance guy, he's a black belt and a ninja.
"How do you know this?" I ask...
"He told me."
"Um. Ninjas don't tell you their ninjas" I tell him. "It's like black belts. They don't usually tell you they've got a black belt unless they're running a school or trying to get a date. Or like spies. If someone tells you they're a spy they're probably not a real spy..."
He hadn't actually looked at it this way...
Crazy VS Crazy
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Conversations
- Hits: 1730
Time for our weekly coffee, I've been remiss, busy with projects and other distractions, it's time to catch up.
He comes in to the cafe, there's a single girl, young, early 20's at a table near to us, working on her computer. And on his way to pick up his coffee he stops to chat with her, she's on a Vista Machine, that's a fortunate coincidence as the government has been covertly infecting his PC with viruses and he needs a VISTA disc to reinstall his OS....maybe she has one?
She's pleasant, she nods, she does have her disc, does she mind running home so he can borrow it? No? Great....She's going to go in just a few minutes...
Now this is crazy. Walking into a cafe and asking a complete stranger if they have a spare OS kicking around that you can borrow. But maybe he's met his match.
She looks like a treeplanter. Fluorescent fake fur boots, torn coat, matted blond dreadlocks. We go outside for a cigarette, she comes along. She's sort of pretty in a youthful way, hard to tell, she's wearing layers of army clothes...and she keeps leaning over to spit, there's a puddle of saliva at her feet, not the forceful, manly sort of expectorate, but more like big gobs dribbled out by someone chewing tobacco. It's not attractive. He asks her about it, why she's spitting all the time, she says "It's my style...".
Now maybe there should be some flags, some clues that things aren't what they should be. When we go back in she disappears into the washroom, he's mentions her spitting, he thinks she's crazy....
Probably she is, but it's really not his place to be throwing stones...
He asks her again for the disc, she tells him in a while, she's waiting for a friend...
Now she's not waiting for a friend. Maybe she doesn't have the disc, maybe she thinks he's crazy, but she's not going to go get it for him. She's stalling, looking over at me and smiling, it's uncomfortable this, being in the middle of Crazy VS Crazy....
He offers her a ride, but she says she lives just around the corner, she's going to go in a few minutes...
We go out for another cigarette, our coffee, our conversation is done, I'm just hanging out now to see how this pans out, Crazy VS Crazy. She comes out and joins us, a pretty smile, perfect teeth stained with tea and tobacco, pieces of popcorn and cookie stuck all along the gums.
It's pretty fucked up. And still he wants his OS, and she's gonna go and get it, how long will we be here? And I gotta leave, it's nuts this, he's going to wait, she packs up her PC and leaves and anyone could tell that Crazy's won, but he's going to wait just to be sure. But when she's left and he's waiting he tells me, he doesn't know what's the matter with her, but he thinks she's crazy....
Radiolab
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Audio & Podcasts
- Hits: 1266
Nothing new, an old favorite rediscovered is all, formerly lost in the 1000's of bookmarks that are my organizational skills....
WNYC.org - Public Radio, Listen Here: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/
Robbed at EB Games
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Rants
- Hits: 2262
The children want to swap some of their unused video games, so we go through the box and line up a dozen or so they no longer play. Mostly XBox games, some in the case, all in good working order, and as I'm not familiar with the process the boy explains that I'll have to go along, they need an adult, they'll exchange the games for credit and get some different ones.
So we head on down. It's a busy little store this, a popular chain that sells both new and used games for all makes of console. And the clerk begins to scan the games in, the price he gives is the price that comes up on the computer. 50 cents. 25 cents. And I'm a little surprised, these things are expensive new, but maybe they're really cheap used. He looks a bit sheepish as he scans them in, the games, 50 cents here, 25 cents here, by the time he's scanned all the games in the kids have earned a whopping $6.00 in credit. For a dozen used XBOX games. And I'm wondering how much their used games are, if they're paying 25 or 50 cents per game, how much can they be charging for the same games?
I quickly find out. $15-20 per used game. For a game they purchased from their customers for under a dollar.
I catch the boys eye, can't bring myself to say anything, it would have been better to simply dump the games off at a thrift shop than trade them here at their usurious rates of exchange.
Now I understand they have to make a living. And maybe these games we were exchanging, they weren't the most popular of titles. But then why wouldn't they sell them at a dollar or two? Or, if they don't need the game, why take it at all? Why not set up a table in the middle of the store where people can simply swap unpopular games, 2 for 1, and make their money off the traffic that will naturally come through?
But reason is frequently lost with these companies. Suffice it to say I'll never purchase anything there again. And I think there needs to be a T-Shirt - "I was robbed at EB Games...", given away free to anyone stupid enough to exchange a game there.
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