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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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Getting my car fixed, LadyJeep, and I'm forced to take the bus from Nelson back to the Guesthouse. Half an hour north on the 3A, when the bus leaves it's full, people with their groceries, I'm towards the back of the bus, half-way, the last half, the empty-back-half, it's blocked with baby carts and infant children and strollers and it's not far enough, not by a long shot, but it's as far as I dare to go.
They're talking, conversations held loudly for any of the locals to join in, and it doesn't take me long to realize I should be recording this...
One couple, 30's, L** and B*****, their two kids crawling all over the seats, behind me, an older woman with her adult fucked-up-kid, can't tell if it's a boy or a girl, weird voice, I want to look but it would be rude to turn around and stare so I listen only...
They're talking about moving here from Ontario, they love it, the couple behind, Mother and child, they're talking about how they were in town to go to Share Nelson, you can get a $20 meal voucher there, 22 meals for $20, it's a great deal, gourmet meals some of them, most of them, and I know Share, know the thrift shop and that Batshit goes there often to eat, this would be why...
...now the couple with the kids, they're listening, it sounds like a great deal, they'll have to buy some vouchers as well, and the people behind are sweetening the deal, talking about how one of the meals, 'cause Share is closed Saturday, is a Subway voucher, take it to Subway and get any sub you want, and the couple with the kids, L** and B****, they're getting into it, a Subway voucher? That's worth $10 itself!
The conversation has changed, somehow, they've made their introductions, the mother and child behind are going to visit Mom's other kid, the one that stays at the BBI, and you know, from the conversation, that the Mental health issues permeate the whole family, the present kid is pretty weird, and the BBI? I've never met anyone who lived there who wasn't fucked up one way or the other, no one there pays their rent with a cheque from a job, it's all assisted living, dealing, welfare...if the Kootenays had a slum that would be it...
Now Pot, and the kid behind is telling about how she/he got real sick after drinking 3 pots of marijuana tea, and L** is sympathizing, "You had too much!" she tells it, "just don't take sooo much!!!" and the it behind, it's maybe agreeing, you can't live out here and not smoke pot...L** is a wealth of information on pot, but only pot, "I don't do any drugs but Marijuana..." she says "I don't believe in drugs....only weed"...
The bus is thinning out, people getting off at 3 mile, 6 mile, 9 mile, where my LadyJeep is being fixed but she's not ready yet or I could be getting off here too...
They're talking still, without interruption, trying to get others on the bus to join in but everyone is resisting, they're all nuts, there's the dreadlocked kid from Procter who showers one a year, there's another Schizoid resident of the BBI, they're in their own spaces, some days, they'd be all over it, not today...
The Mother's talking about her mental health issues, she's in a home of her own in Nelson, that's the mother behind me, not L**, and how they ignore the fact that they're abusing her because she's mentally ill and she has no one to complain to, meanwhile, L** is still marveling at the great deal of the Share meal program, "We could go, couldn't we B****?, I mean, we're Christian, ... We go to town once a week anyways to get my methadone..." her kids are running around the back of the bus, everywhere, she's trying to run them down, round them up, pack them into their strollers, they're almost at their stop...
They get off...Whew...and the kid behind me is now chiding her mother..."That was inappropriate, Mom, you know how I feel about children,,,I mean, she was nice, but she had children Mom, I can't...I mean, you can, you have children, but not me mom, I shouldn't...mom, I don't think that was appropriate...Mom..." together their counting their money, trying to raise enough for a pack of cigarettes, they'll get off at the Superette and walk over to the BBI to to visit Mom's other child, and I'm thinking, yeah, they better fix my LadyJeep and there's no place in the world like this, and that isn't all bad...
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Conversations
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It seems like an easy enough thing, but they just don't get it. You talk to new waiters, they worry about every single tip, what they made, they think they deserve 20% every time, and you try to explain it to them, this isn't what they should be worried about, they should be worried about giving good service, "treat people well" I tell them, the rest will sort itself out, you're not going to win them all...
Still they check every single tip, complain about the bad tippers, it's an easy trap, disregard all the great and superlative tippers because you had a few people stiff you, if there's a philosophy to serving or hospitality it's not about the tips, not at all, it's just about treating people well.
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Conversations
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I'm telling Chubby Funster about how last year, there was a spell, the kitchen was getting a lot of complaints, and when I'd do the quality check the customers would either complain or just sort of "Meh" the food. And I brought this to the owner's son's attention, and he recommended that I don't do quality checks. That was his solution.
Chubby Funster's laughing, it's kind of unbelievable, anywhere but here...
And then we have a busy night, predictable, only 2 servers on the floor, 1 chef in the kitchen, table orders, waits, waits, waits, while the kitchen is crashing, it becomes apparent they won't be able to eat their meals before the ferry, they change it to go, the kitchen is still too backed up, they've already paid, credit card, Funster just refunds their money out of his wallet, cancels the order, there's no way they can get it and still make the ferry...
...Explaining it to the owner later, needing the void and wondering how to reconcile his cash, the owner asks if they had any drinks, "An Ice Tea" Chubby tells him, the owner explains they still have to pay for their Ice Tea, they got it, they drank it, no matter how badly we fuck up, fail to meet reasonable expectations, the customer always has to pay, and the Funster, he knows, I apologize, this is bullshit, complete, we're not in hospitality out here, we're terrorists towards every genial and friendly inclination, towards remedial common sense, and I know the Funster won't last, he's already got another job in town, and while it might not be better run it can't by any means be worse...
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
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A late night at the bar, the woods' got a cop and a homeless guy, they're talking, both are local, they're swapping dating stories, the cop has a few but the homeless guy won't be outdone, long dirty blonde hair and a beard, he tells us proudly that he's a "hobosexual', I've read "Down and Out in London and Paris", I know what he means, I want to listen but I gotta close this bar up and leave him to regale the cop with the tales of his omnivorous voracity ...
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Conversations
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Perusing the thrift shops when I come across a coffee mug and I have a flash of inspiration...
It's not just a coffee mug, why, it's not a coffee mug at all!
It's an engagement ring!!! That also holds coffee....
Function and beauty...much better than the old engagement rings that merely advertised vulgar bad taste, why, add a few rhinestones and a Starbucks card and you've got a wedding that I could afford...